should i move in with my girlfriend?

[byteme23]

My girlfriend lives with her mother who is on benefits and cannot afford to live on her own so my girlfriend feels like she has to stay so the only option is for me to go live with them. Im not sure i am comfortable living with her mother in a house that is not mine. I don't know what to do?

[4getmenot]

why does she feel like she has to stay. Does the mother need help?

[redcrx]

if you move in then your earnings will count against the mother and she'll be worse off, or are they wanting more money from you than theyd get from benefits?

[byteme23]

because her mother is on benefits as she is technically disabled and cannot work, although she needs no help around the house or anything. If she moves out her mother would not be able to stay in the family home she would have to move to a council house

[byteme23]

she recieves income support and did get child benefit as my gf is 19, almost 20 the child benefits stop in june and my gf finishes college and will go into employment. I am not sure if my income would change her benefits.

[byteme23]

my gf has also been offered an apprenticeship at a webdesign company and is going to turn it down as she cannot support her and her mother on an apprentice wage

[redcrx]

if she cant support her and her mum on an apprentice wage then what have they been living on? Its got to pay more than child benefit did.

her council tax will increase, having you paying rent will affect her income support Im sure as well.

[byteme23]

she loses around �280 a month from my gf leaving college and becoming 20. and with my gf staying there, and me possibly moving in she will then have to pay council tx, arounf �90 a month, therefore she will be �370 worse off a month, and my gf will only bring home around �450 a month for an apprenticeship, and she of course has her own things to pay for such as her phone, driving lessons etc

[redcrx]

ok, so your girlfriend must get a full time job straight away then if she wants phone and driving lessons.

I still dont see why you are being asked to move in other than to help pay bills for them.

[byteme23]

we have been togther a year now and we are currently spending 3 nights at my house, and 4 nights at hers and we would like to live together so that we do not have to keep swapping from one house to the other

she can go get a full time job now, but it will be a crap min wage one

or if she just moved in with me i could support her and she could do her apprenticeship

but because her mum needs her to support her she cant

so if i moved in i would provide most of the income, she would be able to do her apprenticeship

but then i would be supporting both of them, and would not have my own mortgage and would be worse off

[Le Chat]

I would think about this situation very,very seriously byteme. Only move in with your girlfriend if you are 100% committed to the relationship, as you will be taking on such alot for a young man and you may feel resentful as time goes onand feel that you are suffocating in the house, not just privacy wise but emotionally and financially. I take it that you are a similar age to your girlfriend/?You should be out having fun and enjoying your money. This is such a negative situation to land yourself in with free will when people are screaming to be released from situation where they are bogged down by financial worries.
Your girlfriend's Mum, should be telling her daughter to go ahead with her life, study and do well for herself, instead of pinning all her hopes on being bailed out by her. I do think this situation is unfair to your girlfriend and to you, if you take on the burden.

[Whoever]

I would advise thinking very carefully before you give up your own home and make this kind of commitment. . Right now your girl friend's mother's situation should not be your problem. Sooner or later her daughter will want to move away and if you move in and your relationship breaks up, you will effectively be homeless.
Could your girl friend move in with you and her mother get a lodger? Or does her mother expect her daughter to go on living with her for ever?