Bad housekeeping

[tombrandy]

What can we do???
My dear wife keeps our house spotlessly clean and always has since the day I met her,The problem is Our daughter in law is really dirty she never does any house work the carpets smell,the toilet is really stained, The kitchen is a disgrace & on top of all that they are expecting thier first child soon,they are not short of a few bob and both have good jobs,
after a recent visit both my wife and I had to have a shower and put our clothes in the washing machine after we arrived home because they smelt terrible,What we cant understand is my wifes son does,nt seem bothered about it, what can we do??
we are not on our own in thinking there home is a hovel other people have passed remarks also.
Regards

[Ethel]

Say and do nothing, especially to your son.

People have very different standards, and your son (step-son) may enjoy living in a more 'relaxed' atmosphere.

One thing worries me. You say they both have good jobs, and she expecting a child soon.

So why are you saying your daughter-in-law is very dirty, but not your son? Surely your son should be pulling his weight too?

[Jugglering]

Have I missed something here.... your daughter in law is working, heavily pregnant and is also expected to keep the house spick and span ? Why should it be her who has to do this ? Is your wife's son not capable of getting the vacuum cleaner out ? Anyway, it's their house, up to them if they want to live like that. Do you and your wife work ? If not, perhaps you could offer to give them a hand around the place, given both of them are out at work all day, perhaps they would be glad of a bit of assistance :)

[tombrandy]

Noknowledge ,I know your right,but we cant tell her/them...You could ...but not us for fear of hurting there feelings.
Ethel i also know that you are right in what your saying but she only works part time and my son works long shifts and any little bit of house work that is done my son does it

[Jugglering]

Hang on a mo.... just whose son is this - your wife's or yours or the pair of you ??? I'm having a Monday evening dullness now... lol

[sara3]

what's that saying??

"only dull women have immaculate houses".

we all have different priorities, and maybe the added pressure of dusting to please disapproving visitors isn't high up on their list.

[tombrandy]

Juggleing.
WE have helped many times in the past but alas cannot do it now because of Asthma & arthritis...Maybe I should have mentioned it before you blasted off they have been married for 10 years & she has always been the same...and as for being heavily pregnant she sits behind a desk answering a phone she is also only working for 6 months of her pregnancy...

[cazzz1975]

well if your wife keeps your home spotlessly clean, what do you do? maybe you have more in common with your wife's daughter in law

[Jugglering]

OK Tom... but I wasn't *blasting off* honest ! You said they both have good jobs and that they were expecting their first child soon... and you were the one who was being rather derogatory about her and that the son didn't seem to be too bothered .....

I guess I just get a bit annoyed when people assume it is the *woman's place* to do the housework... Why is that ?

I think Ethel is quite right in your situation, say and do nothing - after all it's not worth falling out with them over this. You will soon have a grand-child to love and enjoy.

[tiggerblue10]

Does there house look something like one of those from "How clean is your house"?

[Eve]

As said above, people have different standards and priorities.

My place is far from a hovel but I have to say that I have more preferably priorities than my mum, ironing underwear and towels and having rules such as drying your feet before you get out of the shower so you don't get the bathmat wet.

In addition to that my mum doesn't work and I work long hours in a stressful job and can think of better things to do when I come home than dusting the skirting boards.

When you say there is a smell, what kind of smell? Do they smoke or have pets or similar? Is it dirty unhygienic or just not up to your wife's standards?

Maybe your daughter in law would appreciate some non-invasive help when she starts to get bigger and tireder.

Could it be done as a nice gesture to help rather than show her up?

Maybe you could make casual offers sometimes like you've hired a carpet cleaner for you, do they want to borrow it, suggest they get a dishwasher to give them a break from all the washing up etc...

[tombrandy]

cazzee.You are Sooo wrong,after 15 years of wonderful marriage and still madly in love with each other,we pull together as all good marriages do.we are both retired and are together 24/7 and we love every second of it.

[unhappychick]

I know someone that is similar to your daughter in law, we were left the keys when she went on holiday and me and my family went round there and it was like something off of how clean is your house! It was a lot of hard work and the results were amazing!!! About a month after, it returned to the same sh*t pit that it once was, and I would never do it again! We have tried telling her its a health hazard etc but she just doesnt care....so in my opinion a complete waist of time and if your wifes son is happy living in it then let em get on with it!

[puddicat]

enough a tall tale!!!

[sara3]

I'm with Puddi

[boogieboogie]

You don't have to live in it so why should you do anything. You shouldn't concern yourself with it, it's really none of your business.

Not wanting to be rude but that's the bee all and end all of it. Being pregnant she may get the 'nesting' symptons soon and clean up before the baby arrives.

[Velvetee]

Your daughter in law sounds like me (Except I try to keep bathroom and toilet clean) and I wish I could borrow your wife.

Times have changed, people have busier lives and are lazier, so things like housework and other chores no longer take priority. Is their house really a hovel or do you just have exceptionally high standards?

Mind you, if they have good jobs, the least they could do, is employ a cleaner.

[Velvetee]

Ok , I will get a cleaner, a friend of mine has a lady who only charges �4 per hour. Bargain!

[wiggal]

My house is far from perfect or spotless!

And I would always dread my dad and stepmum coming round to the house, as in their house you can not touch anything, shoes must be off as soon as you walk in the front door and so on.

I know they probably turn their noses up at the way our house is, but these days I couldnt care less, and only have them over 1 a year!

I'm happy in the way our house is, my priorities lie with caring for my animals and working full time! They don't have to come round if they don't like the way it is.

But I can say, that the way there house is kept, many of my family feel uncomfortable going there, due to having 'her' run around dusting after you and tutting as she picks up the glass which you have only just finished drinking from!