tell her you love her and be there for her whatever she decides. offer to let her stay at yours, tell her you will look after her (and do it, mind!) if she decides to strike out on her own. you will have to let her make her own choices and not keep urging her to leave. and try to get her out - even if it is to go grocery shopping and you are the taxi. failing that, you could try to turn on him and tell him to shut the fuff up. who knows where that would lead? not being flippant, but sometimes it does work with obnoxious relatives if you are persistent...x