Adoption

[pericat]

I had a thread about this a few months back, is anyone around who answered me on it ?

[sara3]

look after yourself peri, big hugs to you xx

[albaqwerty]

having read posts (thanks dot)
only pathetic thing I can offer is a hug x

[pericat]

thanks alba - i never thought i would find myself in this situation and just to say - if he was in a relationship i would have no problem at all

[tamborine]

Been there done it! Sis had babe at 17 that parents reared when I was 14 with younger bruv 12. Since my parents had to work full-time I spent most of my youth rearing my neice (she's now mid 40s) and like a daughter. I love her dearly and she is closer to me than with her own birth-mother!

I feel this babe will be reared by its mother and your son will have to pay CSA. Those are the cold facts. You don't approve of the mother but your son chose to impregnate her. Best for you to be welcoming to this mother and her kids to keep contact with your g-child.....your son, seeing his son will make him mature & take responsibility.

[pericat]

im not in anyway making excuses for my son tambo -

[pericat]

and im not disapproving of this mother - i dont know her - so i am asking questions on here that are in my head.

[tamborine]

Just a different angle peri for you to ponder. the mother wont give up this child to you or your son and rather than have the babe used as a pawn between you, accept the babe as part of your family and keep a good friendship with the mother to ease the babe's rearing.

You're not the first or last to be in this position; you have a friendly disposition so extend it to this mother - go and see your grandson - start there. good luck, you can do it.

[pericat]

thanks tambo - god i hope i can

[pericat]

i know thanks dixie - all that will be taken into consideration - it has to be doesnt it and thats another reason why I dont want to jump in myself. You sometimes wonder what you did wrong to be put through all this stress. will let you know when i hear anything

[albaqwerty]

peri YOU did nothing wrong
as a mum i know that iits something that is felt deeply. x

[pericat]

thanks alba - we've had a bad few years with my son - although every so often the person he is shines through - just a wee bit stressed at the moment

[pericat]

dixie :o) x

[albaqwerty]

just have a rant on here we'll undrstand
my eldest sbn is 17 and walking his on/offfg/f home at the moment

[pericat]

going to try relax and have a bit of craic

[pericat]

Just had a phone call and she is at home - false alarm - he dropped her home - so I just said to him that he should take this time to really think about his life

[dothawkes31]

oooo, that gave you chance for a rehersal, it's going to give you a different approach now as you have seen how he reacted and felt how you reacted, take confort from his responsible actions today and see if he builds on it

[pericat]

yep dot - its a good lesson for all - except my husband who is not reacting well but will come around - typical male thinks he can fix everything