adoption

[smartie733]

my partners father was adopted and he wants to find out more about his birth grandparents can he do this without askin his dad as he is not willing to talk about it?

[yogi-bear]

Hi smartie

If you're partner is old enough and now wants to find ouit about his birth grandparents....why not?
This site may help .......................and best of luck........

http://www.ancestry.co.uk/

[smartie733]

thank you but we hav no information he wont even tell us the surname of his birth family so we are really stuck

[ChuckFickens]

Can't help, but I am appalled that his father will not talk about it with him!

I am adopted too and my adoptive parents have always been totally open about it and willing to discuss it If I want to.

Good luck with finding the information you want.

[yogi-bear]

Sorry, smartie,

I thought you may at least have a surname to go on..............there are some really helpful users on here like Craft1948 and dot.hawkes, to name a couple that may be able to help out.........if i see then on later, i'll direct them to here, so keep an eye out.......maybe they or some other good folk can suggest how to proceed.

Good Luck to you

[smudge]

Such a shame he won't talk about it, but perhaps it's too painful for him - everyone's different.

Can I just ask Chuck - are your adoptive parents willing to help you look for your birth Mother, that's if you wish to of course?

[ChuckFickens]

Smudge,

More than happy to help me if I choose to look for them, they have told me my original name, I have seen the details on my adoption papers and know where I was born so I have all the information to find them if I wanted to.

[smudge]

That's really good to know Chuck.

A member of my family had a baby boy adopted at birth. Nearly forty years later, I tried to trace him via People Finder UK. Low & behold, he saw my request & got in touch & I informed my very shocked relative. Mother & son are now very happily reunited & part of our family.

Trouble was/is - he could never tell his very possessive adoptive Mother & had meetings with his birth Mother in secret. His adoptive Mother died two years ago without ever knowing. His adoptive Father is still alive, but he feels unable to tell him either, although he is apparently more laid back.

Quite sad really, as my relative would have loved to have met & thanked them for nurturing & taking great care of him.....

[yogi-bear]

Sorry no one got back to you on this, smartie.....does seem that the only way to proceed will be to try and get you're partners father to talk to him about it, otherwise you he cant possibly research into his grandparents history.

I hope his father sees sense and, as Chuck says, am appalled that he does'nt want to discuss it with him.
Maybe he will have a change of heart, and i wish him, and you, well in this quest.

Kind regards

yogi x

[dothawkes31]

If his father was adopted after 1928 his adoption registration will be registered in the same way as his birth registration and there will be a link to the original registration on his adoption entry. You can find out how the system worked here:

http://www.ukbirth-ad...ter.com/resources.php

with further info here:
http://www.ukgenealog...adoption-register.htm

What I would suggest is that your partner tries to explain to his father that there is a need to know the family history for the sake of future generations, both out of a need to know where they came from and from a health point of view. I don't know if this gentleman has any grandchildren yet, but when a woman attends the anti-natal clinic on her first visit during pregnancy, she will be asked about any illnesses known within the family, and that is something in this case that is not known. Putting it to him like that may mean he understands that you are not being intentionally insensitive to his deelings, but being caring of the health of his grandchildren., When he is gone the information may be lost forever and his grandchildren and great grandchildren will live on never knowing who came before them.

[dothawkes31]

*feelings not deelings sorry.x

[smartie733]

thank you to everyone with their answers. I will try to ge tmy partner to try again with his father. x