I have been with the CSA since day one some 16 years ago and despite not ever missing a payment in all these years I cant get to the bottom of when it stops. I know from other questions asked that it is 19 if in full time education. The problem is that I know my ex is claiming benefit based on my son being in full time education, however I know that he has not been at college since Sept 2009. The CSA will only say " as long as she is in receupt of benefit, you keep paying". They have no interest in how she gets the benefit, only that she does. I cant investigate this as I have not spoken to her in 14 years. It just seems to me that the CSA are only interested in getting people to pay and have no interest in the other side of ensuring that it stops appropriately. He is nearly 18 and I am still paying £350 per month for him and have done so for 15 years.
80.76pw - loads of condoms for that money! When/if he works he will contribute towards your pension. Teens cost a lot more in keep! Ask your son when/if he intends working?
Yeh, I have reported this to the DWP (last night again as it happens) but it seems to disapear into a black hole and nothing ever seems to happen. On top of this I have little info to give them as she has changed her name twice that I know of, she may have changed his name and I would think she has moved now. The only address I have is from 15 years ago.
She made it clear all those years ago she would do everything she could to sting me for as long as possible and you have to take your hat off to her, she has.
It seems to me she just tells the benefits whatever she likes and they just accept it. There are so many examples of her manipulating the system its unbelievable.
She is now working and has done for years, she has a high earning partner and not once has anything changed in my maitenance.
Tamborine
Thanks for that. In answer to your "who will pay" question, how about his mother for a change? Bizarre I know, but her contribution to the payable amount in the CSA is NIL and always has been.
does she live with this partner? how do you know when your son left college is you don't know where they are?
if you feel pretty sure she's committing benefit fraud get yourself to your local jobcentre and ask to speak with the fraud manager (who may not be based at that site, but locally). all referrals of fraud are looked into, but it can sometimes be a slow process. if you have her real name and date of birth, they will know who she is.
I only know that he left college because I know another guy whose son attended the same college.
When I say I dont know where they are, I mean I dont have accurate details of the address but I know the general area.
Once your son turns 18, stop the payments. If the CSA get on to you for more then ask for proof that he attends college (something from the college). If your ex doesn't provide that, the CSA will agree with you.
Tambo...have you read what he's said. The wife and new partner have jobs. At 18 his son is an adult and as he is not in further education it's his own responsibility to support himself.
Tamborine
I take your point about the amount not covering his expenses, but it has to stop sometime. £350 a month may not seem like much now but 15 years ago I would think that more than covered everthing. In any case I think you will find you and other tax payers will be making up the difference. If I know her, what she has will be spent on herself!
Thanks ummm
Just to clarify, she was never my wife. Parties back in those days have a lot to answer for !!!!
Still, I think Ive done my bit and one day I hope he will recognise that as despite my early efforts to keep contact, it became impossible.
Just had a look at the CSA guidebook. You can stop paying now as your son ceased to be a child when he was 16 and only qualified for further payments while he was in full time education. Are you in a new relationship with any children living with you?
boys are voracious feeders and remain close to mum's kitchen till they find 'another' feeder. I wouldn't expect you to pay once he's independant; that can't be far off. Remember, he's you son and am sure you would want the best for him. CSA issues can be remedied between you and son at a future date.....not a good idea to upset the apple cart after all these years, imo.
Noberto
Yeh Im now married but no kids. This experience put me off pretty sharpish. Im 45 now so dont plan any either. Fortunately my wife is not one for children either so we are very happy.
Can I just say, this is my very first experience of this site and I have to say it is remarkable. To have feedbcak and answers / views so quickly is excellent.
Thanks everyone !
Versys, you have to pay what you have to pay, but it sounds like your ex is living off us tax-payers, fraudulently, and you are therefore being hit by the CSA.
I'd suggest you report her with as much info as you have, and try to re-form a relationship with your son. he's old enough to be supporting himself and would be entitled to claim benefits in his own right, but I would say if you CHOOSE to give him (and not your ex) any further maintenance, good on you.
Yes my sons are young but I have a male dominated family and know exactly how much they eat.
That's not the point though. If he is not in full time education then he can get himself a job and support himself. It is no longer Versys responsibility. As it happens....the son would be better off receiving maintenance than signing on. That's if the mother is giving him the money.