Listener 4848 Return By Dysart
Crosswords0 min ago
little girl attacked in my area
12 Answers
This weekend I finally agreed to let my 9 year old girl, and 6 year old boy, play out, on our side garden, unsupervised. They were in and out all day, playing in our lovely safe caravan that's parked there.
I told myself to give them some freedom, and that we shouldn't restrict them, as i spent all day playing out when i was little. I was a bit nervous, but kept an eye on them, and was in the back garden, listening out.
They had a great time, and i could tell that they relished in the responsibility. They even had their tea out there, and did their homework in it!
Today, i find out that a 10 year old girl accosted, a couple of streets away and was was bundled into a car and raped on a nearby field. So now I feel my fears all these years have been justified and I'm back to keeping them in with me.
I keep thinking it could have been my daughter - What would you do? let them carry on playing? Wrap them back up in cotton wool? I don;t want to over react!
I told myself to give them some freedom, and that we shouldn't restrict them, as i spent all day playing out when i was little. I was a bit nervous, but kept an eye on them, and was in the back garden, listening out.
They had a great time, and i could tell that they relished in the responsibility. They even had their tea out there, and did their homework in it!
Today, i find out that a 10 year old girl accosted, a couple of streets away and was was bundled into a car and raped on a nearby field. So now I feel my fears all these years have been justified and I'm back to keeping them in with me.
I keep thinking it could have been my daughter - What would you do? let them carry on playing? Wrap them back up in cotton wool? I don;t want to over react!
Answers
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i would have that stranger talk with them andlet them conyinue playing on your property as long as hey agreed to regularly checker in to you. mind you, it wouldalso depend on the circumstances of the 10 year old experience - was she playing on the street, walking home from scool or in her garden etc. only you can decide what's safe for you and your family and your children will have to accept that. what about playing in the back garden for a while if you have one? difficult to offer advice as it is not your shoes i am walking in today, but good luck x
Keep letting them play.
Realistically kids are safer from the threat of Paedophiles nowadays than they have ever been. Go back to when you were a kid, and there was exactly the same amount of nonces per person as there are now. Differences were that if a child was attacked a lot of the time it was brushed under the carpet as an embarrassment, kids didn't know what to look out for, and the predators were hardly ever caught.
Fast forward to the present, stranger danger is taught a lot more strongly, sexual abuse is taken seriously, parents know what to look out for, DNA testing and the like means most nonces will be caught.
I understand the urge to protect them, but if you do it to much they will never grow and learn. Kids need to learn that falling out of a tree hurts, so the next time they climb they will be more careful.
If you want to be more comfortable about the situation, then ensure they know about stranger danger, and speak to your neighbours about a Neighbour Hood Watch-type setup
Realistically kids are safer from the threat of Paedophiles nowadays than they have ever been. Go back to when you were a kid, and there was exactly the same amount of nonces per person as there are now. Differences were that if a child was attacked a lot of the time it was brushed under the carpet as an embarrassment, kids didn't know what to look out for, and the predators were hardly ever caught.
Fast forward to the present, stranger danger is taught a lot more strongly, sexual abuse is taken seriously, parents know what to look out for, DNA testing and the like means most nonces will be caught.
I understand the urge to protect them, but if you do it to much they will never grow and learn. Kids need to learn that falling out of a tree hurts, so the next time they climb they will be more careful.
If you want to be more comfortable about the situation, then ensure they know about stranger danger, and speak to your neighbours about a Neighbour Hood Watch-type setup
so, she was away from home and on her own for a short time. i would allow you kidsthe freedom they currently have, discuss what has happened (appropriately) with them and continue to keep an eye out and that they regularly check in on you together. it's much more unlikely for anthing to happen to them while they are on your property - but you will have to be as honest as you can be with them about why you are worried to gain their understanding and cooperation in regular checks. its sad when something like this happens as it heightens your fear levels as a parent, want to protect them more and still balance that with the normal freedoms that going out brings. my 16 year old hasrecently started taking his girlfriend to the cinema and dinner in the evenings, works until 8pm some nights and last week went camping in the new forest with mates. all new experiencesfor me and not easy, i can tell you. it gets worse as they get older as they want to go farther a farther away from you! it's all new territory to me and is sending me prematurely grey x
Keep them in. People who say there are no more paedophiles now than there were in the 50's are either too young to know or have Alzheimer's. I never let my daughter out of my sight, and a smarter cookie you never met. Of course she knows how to cross the road. She's 25, married with 3 delightful children, active on the PTA and raises money for charities etc., and she's alive probably because I always kept her within sight of myself or another adult in loco parentis. However, it was done always in such a way that she didn't feel her freedom being compromised.
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