Can my ex stop me moving 120 miles away with my 11 year old son to live with my partner.

[bearsy]

[bobjugs12]

Why would you want to?
Surely the question should be whats best for your son?

[redcrx]

you dont say if you were married and the father has parental responsibility

However i dont think you would need permission but please consider your child in this, will he still get to spend time with his father?

[bearsy]

me ex left us 20 months ago to live with someone else.
He lives about 45 min car journey away. He told us that he was living in a bed sit in a terrible area so he couldnt have the boys over night. He was really living with someone in an expensive appartment in a nice area that the girlfriend had just bought but we didnt find that out for 8 months when we had him traced to start divorce proceedings. He still said he couldnt have them as he was the lodger!!! He didnt see my youngest son at all over the summer as the football season had ended and that is all that he is really interested in..... He got back in contact August time just in time for the new season to start. He states that I had changed the house telephone number during summer but it was actually 26th August due to the fact that I changed back to BT from another provider and needed to change the number! He now has another child that was born in October. He sees my son every second weekend as agreed in court last month but as my son is 11 he doesnt always want to go. He hasnt had any real contact with my 17 year old except whilst watching the youngest play football.
If I were to move then I would still let him see the 11 year old every other weekend and meet him half way.

[bearsy]

Yes we were married for 20 years.

[cherrychapstick]

but depending on where you are moving from and too 120 miles is about an hour and a half -whatever in a car, about the same by train so no you are just doubling what he is away from you at the moment

[bearsy]

He travels around the country anyway and has his petrol paid for. I dont but would meet him half way anyway . He collects him at the moment but football has now ended so the next few months will be interesting as to whether he now has to work on his weekends!

[rowanwitch]

Talk to him.....sounds like you are willing to put some effort in Also what do the boys want?

[bearsy]

He actually moved out of the area to live with his girlfriend in the first place and not the other way around. I live in a very expensive area and cant afford to live here anymore.......
If I move away my job opportunitites will be greater and I will get support from my partner with my son as I dont from his dad as I have said he sees him friday-sunday every 2 weeks

[stonekicker]

no he can't stop you. he sounds like a lying git, so why take his feelings into account - he plainly doesn't give a fig about you or the boy given his lying about living standards etc., new family and most pathetically - football. move and be happy with your new fella. if he's that much of a great dad - he'll find a way of maintaining contact. or when the eldest little bearsy is a bit older he can navigate there by train etc. by himself if he wants to. he sounds like a little boy who needs to grow up! x

[bearsy]

The youngest does then he doesnt. He stats high school in September so I feel now would be the best time for a move educationally. He plays football for an academy and I think he will just move on a transfer. The eldest says to move as he is off to uni in september and as I have said his dad isnt really that interested in him and rarely sees him.

[bearsy]

yes stone kicker he is a lying git and not a nice man at all and does need to grow up.
He has made so much up about me its untrue. My boys are the most important things in my life and always have and will be. I want them to have a happy family life and that is what they will get if we move away.

[Snafu03]

sounds like to need to move double that distance!

[GraemeC]

Do it!
1. your eldest thinks its a good idea
2. 120 miles isnt that far to see your CHILDREN, once every 2 weeks
3. if you dont you risk disliking this man even more (left you after 20yrs and still controlling major aspects of your life)
4. it'll be harder once the youngest starts high school,

5. Do it because YOU want to do it.

[bobjugs12]

Usually i'd jump on the side of the bloke, but if half the stuff you've described are true then your ex-husband is a w@nker of the highest order.
The only caution i'd give is based on how long you've been with your current bloke. Is your relationship good enough yet to move in with each other? How does he really feel about taking on your kids full-time.

If you are 100% certain that this is the right move for you, then go for it. And if he starts whinging tell him I do that distance every weekend to see mine, and have done it a few times in a single day. (Weekend before last, I got back from seeing my kids to realise I had there uniforms and lunch boxes in my car, so turn around and head back. Nightmare lol)

[bearsy]

I havnt told u half of the things he has done....it really beggers belief.
I have been with my partner for a little over 15 months and yes he adores my boys and has 2 grown up children of his own. he loves the family life and is a real family man.I know we are perfect together and its just what the boys need.
I would never stop the boys from seeing their dad and will try to make it as easy as possible. I do know though that as my youngest gets older he will want to do his own things with his friends and not want to be with his dad every other weekend...but thats a bridge we will have to cross later and im sure his dad wont make it easy.