Book about death

[Emoire]

Hi, My 5 year old boy has started asking questions about what happens when we die, what heaven is like etc. I'm not really sure how to answer his questions, we are not a religious family, although he does go to a church of England school where he hears stories from the bible. Can anyone recommend a good book aimed at this age group which covers this sort of thing? Many thanks.

[BeaverDiva]

I'm not sure that anyone would publish a book about death aimed at 5 year olds. I'd be more concerned about why he has started asking such questions - has someone he knows passed away? has he been watching something on tv to trigger this sort of questioning? I think the best best is to be as open and honest with him as possible, bearing in mind his age - but ask him why he's asking as well.....perhaps they've been teaching something in school about heaven? if so, perhaps the teacher can help you ...

[joannie10]

not a personal recommendation but this might help - http://www.amazon.co....%20and%20death&page=1

my niece was 4 when the Queen Mum died and for ages we were faced with questions about death and the 'queens mum dying'! You don't want to worry them with too much information but don't want to ignore the questions either!

[tigwig]

I don't know about books but I would just answer his questions as honestly as you can in an age appropriate way. My then 5yr old went through a phase like this and she would get very upset about anyone she knew dying etc. I just explained to her that we wouldn't die now but usually when you are very old and in heaven you would see the rest of your family and have anything you want and the angels look after you! She accepted this and after a few weeks forgot about it.

[Emoire]

Thanks for the advice, it is such a delicate subject and I didn't want to mess it up! The suggestions have been really helpful, thanks.

[madmaggot]

Why tell kids a load of rubbish tigwig?
Angels? Meet the rest of your family? Get anything you want?
I don't think so.
Just answer the question they have asked, no more; no less. Be honest.

[boxtops]

My niece got very upset about the same age, and when the cat died, she felt somehow it was her fault, and got very anxious about people dying. I feel it's part of growing up and realising that not everything is forever, and that his secure little world might have problems (God willing, not yet). I would just be as honest as possible - most of your answers will probably be "We don't know", but for a 5-year-old, the concept of heaven and people looking out for you when you get there is not a bad one. He can make up his mind about it all when he's a lot bigger.

[Noseyparker]

Water bugs and dragonflies is a lovely book that explains that dragonflies start their life under the water and then, during their lifecycle, break free to soar above the water and are having such a good time that they want to go back and tell the 'family' that they have left behind that the next stage of their existence is wonderful - but of course they soon realise that they cannot return to their old life but have to wait for their loved ones to join them later.

[tigwig]

madmaggot how do you know its rubbish? I actually believe there is angels in heaven and I also believe that when you die you do meet up with people who were close to you in life. I don't know about heaven as such but I do think there is another existence so to me its not rubbish.
Plus my daughter was very upset at the time and needed reassuring that people and animals close to her wouldn't suffer when they were dead. What I said may well not be what bloody happens but I would like to think so.

[madmaggot]

Fair enough.

[ethandron]

we're not at all religeous, didn't get married in church, didn't have our sons christened, basically just don't believe any of it.
however, when our boys were small, we felt it was important not to frighten them so when any death conversations came up, we went along with the heaven and angels thing. they also had religeous assemblies at school, and attended church parade as part of their brief membership of cubs.
it's no better or worse than letting small children believe in father christmas or the tooth fairy. they learn the harsh realities of life soon enough, no point in frightening them when they're little.

[4getmenot]

my mate told er 4 year old her nana was now a star in the sky

[sophie_1003]

As others have said, it depends how you want to present death but a good one about pets dying is Goodbye Mog by Judith Kerr about the much loved cat from her other stories who dies but then watches over the family for a little while until they are happy again.
One I had as a child was called Grandpa's Slideshow, it din't state what happened after death but went through all the things like a funeral and wake and what the children were feeling, also was good because it didn't use terms like 'going to sleep' for dying (which the Mog one might actually) which can make some children scared of going to sleep.

[radiogaga]

hello. i have a 4 year old. my cousin died recently.
i told our daughter, bianca (my cousin )was in the sky all around, always, who would send her love. i said if you feel warm and happy it was bianca sending you her love.
we are not religious, and wanted to convey bianca who has died is still around,
something she would comprehend.
she did exept this and soon forgot about the whole death issue.
books are a fab idea.