dilema 13 year old daughter being picked on

[zzxxee]

My 13 year old daughter is being picked on by the lad that lives next door but is also in her year at school
she wears a sports style bra as she is not comfortable with ones that fasten at the back
the kid next door has been taking the mickey out of her for this and constantly goes on about the size of her bust and how babyish she is for not wearing a " grown " up bra .she is usually resilient, but this is getting her down.
I get on with the lads mother we are not close neighbours but say hello. I just dont know how to approach this and wether to see her first or go up to the school as most of the bullying takes place there. its getting her down quite a bit any suggestions would be appreciated
TIAXX

[ummmm]

Get your older daughter to have a nice little word with him..!!

[zzxxee]

omg ummmm !!!!!!!!!!!!!! she would kill him !!!!!!!!!!!! lol

[ummmm]

Exactly.....lol

[marval]

I would have a word with the mother first, tell her that if it doesn't stop you will go to the school and complain. She might not know he is doing it.

[Bbbananas]

I agree with marval - maybe approach the mother first, if she is a decent approachable sort. Tell her you don't want to take it any further, cos kids will be kids, but that it's upsetting your daughter and you thought a discrete word might bring a stop to it.

[zzxxee]

yes i think i will have a word with her seems the best way
i just dont want it to backfire though and the bullying get worse because ive told the school

[ummmm]

And then he tells everyone at school that she went crying to Mummy.

[andy-hughes]

It's tricky, because sometimes adults getting involved in their children's arguments can sometimes carry on long after the kids have sorted it.

That's the tack to take with this mum - you need her co-operation, so an 'attack' will simply make her defensive by instinct.

Try the 'we're mums together, so we can sort this between ourselves ...' line.

Be calm and polite but firm - maybe her son is not aware that his teasing is causing upset, so his mum can have a quiet word to start with.

If you get no joy with them mum - or the picking carries on, i would have a word with your daughter's teacher and explain the situation, and your action thus far. Schools have plenty of experience with this kind of situation, and can probably sort things out from their side.

Good luck.

[zzxxee]

thats the trouble with situations like this your damned if you do and damned if you dont !!!!

[Bbbananas]

Mmmm, suppose there is that. It depends on the type of person who his mum is. If it had been my son at that age, bullying a girl over a bra, I would not be happy with him. What goes on at school though, she will not have as much control over.

A word with her won't do any harm - but pick your words carefully - speak to her as a fellow mother, not diss her son.

[zzxxee]

so you dont suggest i call him a little sh1te then salla ????

[Bbbananas]

Don't think that would help your case zzxxee........!

[ummmm]

I would....lol

[zzxxee]

oh i feel like it salla especially when he uses my wall a goalpost and the ball keeps comeing into my garden and he walks in without asking to get it back !!!

thanks for comments guys you have been very helpfull x

[andy-hughes]

As my youngest used to say when she was six - "I did call him a nasty name ... but only in my mind ..."

[lumination]

can you not find her a comfortable bra? there are lots of different shapes and styles, she may not have found one that suits her frame. take her to a decent bra shop and get her measured, then ask which style would fit best and let her try it on.

[tigerlelly]

Your daughter should point out that at least she has a grown up brain - shame about his. I like Vibrashpere's advice too.

[MickyMacgraw]

Maybe tell your daughter to mention the words Sexual harassment and Police in the same sentence to him and maybe this will stop.

[MickyMacgraw]

A bit ott maybe and I know they're just kids but things like this can sometimes seriously psychologically damage a growing brain and leave them depressed ad inverted socially later on so it's best to try and nip this in the bud.