Do u think there is a time when its two adults....?

[tinkerbell23]

And not mum and daughter...had an argument today and she always says i can be really cheeky which i know i can be...and shes my mum yes...but when shes crossing the line..and were two adults who are having a disagreement.?

Tink x

[ummmm]

I don't think so...not in my case anyway.

[boxtops]

I'm not sure what you're asking....?

When my mum was alive, I found there were times when we were two adult women together, and other times when she definitely tried to slip into parent mode and sometimes I could be the child again - then as she got much older, sometimes it was me who was the "parent" - is this what you mean/

[askyourgran]

I sometimes go into the parent mode with my daughter. We get along fine most of the time but when I have to make a serious point I remind her that I'm still her mother.

[tinkerbell23]

Well, i mean that the parent mode....shes not right all the time and i tell her so. Infact down right wrong to be honest and i feel like when she crosses the line of being a mum and completely interferes that i should be allowed to stick up for myself however feircely...basically she cannot just dance all over me because she is my mum and i should sit bak and take it out of respect?. Xxxx

[Mamyalynne]

I think in the main that dividing line is always there, though in my case I never give advice etc without being asked.

[society]

My mum is like Gran. :-)

[tinkerbell23]

Aw mama c i sooo agree with that when i want advice id ask....otherwise "keep out" lol...im an only child and the focus is on me but im not a kid. She wouod gladly rule my life. No joke. Ever since i can remember its this control control control x

[Mamyalynne]

Sounds like she is afraid of you making your own mistakes in life, when she should let you find your own way.

[tinkerbell23]

She would gladly relive her life thru me...iv told her not to try to tell me what to do (im 24..well almost).... She would gladly tell me what to wear, where to go, who with, and call/ text my mates, nooooooo probs. X

[askyourgran]

True mamya. I don't interfere all the time, my girl is now 41 years old, but I still tell her what I think, and she has the respect to listen. Ok we sometimes have words, but when all is said and done the mother/daughter argument is tempered with love for her well-being. Take note tink.

[Mamyalynne]

She should not do that, I have two grown daughters and was tempted but resisted and they made their own way, both are now happily married despite any mistakes they made along the way.

[boxtops]

You have to learn to make your own mistakes, it's part of becoming an independent adult. Do you still live at home?

[tinkerbell23]

I know mums mean well but shes erm..overbearing!!

Think shes been acessing my facebook- i just deleted it so now im missing out...read diaries when i was a teen, would happily text or call mates as to why i am not going somewhere and including ex's and his mum!! This was all recent as in year or two!! Mu dad stepped in tonight to calm it and he said to her look you are obsessed it is outrageous! My gran has had words before too its really unbelievable x

[tinkerbell23]

Yes i moved out at 20 due to the "situation" but after relationship split, lost job and went to uni i moved home last xmas.....very hard!!! Xx

[NOX]

Your mum really needs to take on board and respect that you're an adult and certainly not be accessing your FB etc ( which I believe you can get reinstated if you miss it- just change your log in and set your status's to private). If I nosed and interfered in my kids lives ( and some of them are younger than you, then I'd be on the sharp end of their ire. You have to learn to let go as a parent and allow this person that you've helped craft have their own opinions and make their own mistakes whilst at all times being there if things go wrong.

[tinkerbell23]

Thanks NOX it was private anyhow but she is somehow getting info anyhow so its deleted for now. Its awful i feel like she wreaks havoc on me!! Were still all not talking...used to catch her outside listening thru the door to my phone convos!! She takes things out my room without permission snd i mean from drawers and wardrobes i dont even know how she should know things are there....every conversation revolves around my mates and what im doing why im not going out....when i was younger id simply have been thrown out to play with a pair of shoes after me as its onky wierdos who sit in!! I was away to manchester last weekend im never ever in....and because i stayed in last night ww3 erupted!! Im in the last year of a degree, granted i wasnt studying but sometimes i need time out to just chill yknow. Plus being almost 24 i think i can make that decision myself...xxx

[bushbaby_de]

I still get this with my Mum and I'm 29 now. I just remind her that being a parent doesn't automatically make her right all the time and that me having a different opinion doesn't make it wrong.