Funeral/wake Food

[Baby_Sham]

I've just been told I need to provide the food to a wake, next week, and I'm seriously stressing out.

I'm not bitching about it as it's for a family member of my previous partner, but I'm more than concerned about the numbers, and how it's going to work out, logistically.

The woman who passed away didn't have many friends, but as the mother is a Jehovah's Witness she has invited a whole load of the congregation... which is currently at 200 people!
I have no idea what to make, or what to expect cost-wise, so was wondering what I could make, the night before, that would be ok to take the next morning and keep out (of a fridge) for a couple of hours?

I'm seriously stressed about this, so any help would be greatly received.

Ta very much :)

[Old_Geezer]

Not been to an official wake as such. Most funerals I've attended have simply had sandwiches and tea afterwards. Ham or salmon or whatever. That said it was never anything like 200 folk. That sounds more like a commercial catering job. Maybe you could ask whoever passed the responsibility on to you, what was expected.

[mazie]

You Can't, trust me. 40 to 50 is hard enough and the cost even doing it all yourself will be high

[Baby_Sham]

That's the thing. The woman in question wasn't even a JW, but her Mother was and so she's basically invited a whole load of people the daughter never even knew.
I had no problem in doing food for the family, like 50-odd people, but 200 is just ridiculous and I seem to have got myself into a situation where I can't get out of.

[gness]

Babysham! Be firm......if they say it can be done and won't take long for God's sake let them do it.

Offer what you can......and stick to that.....x

[ummmm]

Seriously Baby Sham....back out.

If they as a family can't afford it then why should the expect you to afford it?

[woofgang]

You've been told you "need to provide" Who has told you and by what authority?
Being brutally honest i think that you are being taken advantage of....and I am sorry but the deceased's being a family member of a previous partner doesn't cut it as a reason, it really doesn't. If you are feeling kind then ask how much they can afford and do something with the money but if it was me I would be saying sorry no.

[MallyJ]

I do not understand why you are still entertaining the notion that this is your responsibility..... demands from the family of an ex partner??? You have to say no ...

[woofgang]

Yes YES you can get out of it. Repeat after me "I am sorry but I can't do this." If you are asked why or what your reason is, just repeat "I am sorry i can't help" ad nauseam. Its called the broken record technique.

[Mamyalynne]

I agree,stand firm and state it is an impossible task for you - as religious followers they should all rally round and muck in together.


Don't be bullied.

[tonyav]

Baby Sham, phone this JW mother and tell her it's impossible for you to do this, logistically and financially.

[boxtops]

Baby, it's impossible for you to do it on your own. Even if you did one sandwich per person, that's 400 slices of bread to butter and fill. You need to get back to them (and your ex) and say that it's far too much for one person to do on your own, and who's paying for it anyway? They are being seriously unrealistic. Whre's this supposed to be taking place?

[BlackadderV]

You could, of course, say that normally you wouldb e happy to oblige, but unfortunately you are booked in for a blood donor session that day.

[Baby_Sham]

I did think about doing just teas/coffee's and cake, but they've said that's not enough.
I'm already paying out for the funeral flowers, because they also can't afford those either, but this is just all too much.
I don't know, even if I were to make it all, how I would even transport, refrigerate and put it all out in time, how that would work out.

[ummmm]

Even if they do Methyl it'll still be a min of £5 a head.

[boxtops]

You can't baby, it's as simple as that. You're paying for the funeral flowers - whyever are you doing that? it's nothing at all do to with you, strictly speaking! you're being taken advantage of, big time.

[naomi24]

I don't understand why your 'exes' have so much influence on you. Take the advice you've been given. It can't be done. Tell them so, and leave it to them.

[ummmm]

It can't be done, Baby Sham, you'd need an industrial fridge, you'll need serving plates, plates, cutlery, napkins...