Funeral/wake Food

[Baby_Sham]

I've just been told I need to provide the food to a wake, next week, and I'm seriously stressing out.

I'm not bitching about it as it's for a family member of my previous partner, but I'm more than concerned about the numbers, and how it's going to work out, logistically.

The woman who passed away didn't have many friends, but as the mother is a Jehovah's Witness she has invited a whole load of the congregation... which is currently at 200 people!
I have no idea what to make, or what to expect cost-wise, so was wondering what I could make, the night before, that would be ok to take the next morning and keep out (of a fridge) for a couple of hours?

I'm seriously stressed about this, so any help would be greatly received.

Ta very much :)

[Maydup]

The only option is to buy a selection of small cakes and biscuits. Serving teas and coffees to 200 people is a challenge in itself, they all need to chip in and help. Why are they expecting to leave this to one person?

[mazie]

YOU CAN'T.... sorry for shouting but you just won't be able to do it. I think they are being totally unreasonable. Have any of them offered to help or contribute towards the food?

[ummmm]

Okay, Methyl, get ya.

[BlackadderV]

"They want to give her a good send off."

No, they don't, they want to pig out for free. Time, I think, for a diplomatic dose of vomiting/diarrhoea, making it unsafe for you to handle food.

[naomi24]

Money aside, it's physically and logistically impossible for one person to cater for 200 the day before the event. Really it is.

[boxtops]

Who's told you that you need to provide this food, anyway? On what basis is this "need" - that implies some sort of obligation, why do you owe this task to them? who do they think is paying for it? It's bizarre.

[Old_Geezer]

Indeed, having now read the whole thread I think folk are agreed this is unfair to lumber you with, a "proper send off" isn't defined even and it would be a lot of work of a team of folk just cutting sandwiches let alone one on their own. The cost for 200 will be considerable so you would be within you rights to ask for the funding. You need to be more assertive and insist this isn't right. Let those who want a 'big do' chip in and fund it, and either raise enough bring in caterers or volunteer to be part of the catering team. As has been mentioned, if they think it's a 'walk in the park' presumably they'll be only too happy to get involved, or explain why not.

[boxtops]

That's a good point, blackadder. This is catering on a commercial scale - you wouldn't be allowed to prepare it in your own kitchen, without a food hygiene certificate and an inspection from the local authority.

[Baby_Sham]

The venue is a small community centre. Couldn't have it anywhere with a bar, as apparently that's 'against the rule', hence choosing somewhere without one.
They have a kettle, and a "small" fridge, but nothing else.

I didn't even want to go to the funeral (sorry if that makes me sound awful), but now I've been roped in to providing the *** catering, yet I feel way out of my depth :-(

[Baby_Sham]

I'm not "obligated". I said I would "help out in any which way I could". I then received a call asking if I could pay for the flowers (£200 plus) and arrange the wake, for 200+ people.

[mazie]

" yet I feel way out of my depth :-("

That's because you are Baby, it's not possible! You have to tell them or you will make yourself ill with worry xx

[tamborine]

Since youre being loaded up like a donkey, order a roll of hay @ £35 & free tap water ;)

[naomi24]

No, you haven't been roped in to provide the catering. Say 'no'. Job done. Anyone in impossible circumstances would be out of their depth.

[tamborine]

Lol lol for BA ;)

[BlackadderV]

JWs have no prohibition on booze. many are alkies. Anyway, the fact that the venue has a bar does not mean that it has to be open. If you go to a masonic hall on an evening when a 'dry' lodge is meeting you will find the bar firmly shuttered.

[Cloverjo]

Baby_sham, I'm only going to reiterate what others have said, and you haven't listened to them, but anyway.
Phone the mother up, say you've looked into how you can possibly do the food and manage to pay for it all as well as the flowers, and it's just not possible.
Don't be beaten back. "It's just not possible for me to do it."

[boxtops]

...oh Baby - an open offer, then, which they are taking full advantage of. You have to go back to them and say that since you are paying for the flowers, you can't afford to do the catering as well. It's not humanly possible for you to do it on your own.

[Baby_Sham]

Oh, I have listened, I really have.
I really do appreciate the answers I've received,they just don't seem to take no for an answer.
I'm going to speak with the Mother tomorrow, directly, and just say it's all too much.

TBC...