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Bad Manners ?

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Khandro | 10:43 Tue 30th Apr 2024 | ChatterBank
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Do you ever get brief emails saying something like, 'Are you OK?'  or   'How are things?' etc. To which I'm expected to give an account of my life's recent events.

 I do, and they drive me nuts. I'm tempted to reply an equally curt, 'Fine thanks', but that would sound rude don't you think?

What would you do ?

 

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I speak like that to my friends so I'm not sure what you expect.  A Dear Sir and a Yours faithfully?  

You must be fun at parties.

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n. //I speak like that to my friends so I'm not sure what you expect.  A Dear Sir and a Yours faithfully?  //

No, but when I contact anyone I say a few more words in general than are you OK. 

Does it not occur to you that you are expecting someone to write an account of their circumstances and saying nothing. I think it comes from people who are bored.

Writing is quite different from speech. It isn't to my mind the same as saying to someone you meet ' How's things?'

What would you expect them to write in the e-mail?

//Does it not occur to you that you are expecting someone to write an account of their circumstances and saying nothing.//

 

If I have something to say I say it, Khandro.  If I'm contacting them to ask if they're ok, that's what I do.  I've had no complaints so far.

only on AB ! ter daah !

It depends - I suppose - one I see ( in personam) regularly so we just continue where we left off

I get far too much ( as Chris Buen also gets) - that man over there says he was at school with you: do you want to speak to him?

J M Keynes The English would far more prefer that someone fails conventionally than succeeds unconventionally

kinda weird as he was a pillar of the establishment - came form a reesh family and was a Cambridge don ( and was tray reesh himself)

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I treat emails to people exactly as I would writing a letter. All this sloppiness is a product of emails and social media.

No one surely would ever write & post a letter, nor even a postcard  saying just ,'How are you?' - Well I've never received one, have you? 

  I've had no complaints so far. - -  they wdnt dare - hur hur hur

Emails and texts are 'instant' commiunication, Khandro - a bit like posting on AB.  It's like having a conversation face to face.  If I bump into someone I haven't seen for a while I just say , 'Hello, how are you?'  What do you say?  Do you hit them with a run down of your recent life history before asking them how they are?

//Do you hit them with a run down of your recent life history before asking them how they are?\\

My brother does that and it infuriates me.  He is well and he knows I certainly am not but I hear the minutae of his life for 15 mins before I can get a word in.

I've been more or less OK for 77 years - why would anyone query it now....

Khandro, another thought.  Don't you think it's nice of people to ask how you are - however they ask?

When we get to 77 we're walking on a slippery tightrope.

If I meet someone and they say: 'You're looking well', I immediately think what must I look like to prompt them to say that.

The person I'm contacting may not have the time or inclination to go into detail...or hear about what I'm up too. Short and quick allows for them to go further if they desire. It's opening the door, while letting them know I'm there.

Be glad they are asking after you. Would you be happier if they didn't bother? 

Dave after 80 is when it all happens.  

Watch out!! 😫

//If I meet someone and they say: 'You're looking well', I immediately think what must I look like to prompt them to say that.//

Reminds of the movie Papillon when he's been in solitary for months & is on the point of death from starvation. He asks another prisoner how he looks - "Yeah, you look fine!"

So you weren't referring to Buster Blood vessel?

                //If I meet someone and they say: 'You're looking well',//

I usually reply,"Thanks.I actually feel like sheet but I've still got a pulse".😀

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n. // Don't you think it's nice of people to ask how you are - however they ask?//

Yes I do, but I think it is bad manners to expect someone to write a precis of how one really is, in return for a three word sentence.

 

What makes you think...assume...that they expect a long winded response? 

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