Turkey Tips

[Birchy]

Without wishing to become a complete Christmas bore...any tips for upstaging the in-laws' traditional attempts to take over the turkey mollesting? They always do that '20 minutes a pound, plus another 20, then twirl round and pretend to be John Denver on a spacehopper' thing. Not true, of course, but they do become real pains at trukey time. How can I step in and do it better than the 1950's version?

[ravenhair]

It depends if you're eating at your place or at theirs. If you're at yours, then pour them a large drink and ban them from the kitchen altogether, telling them that the meal is a treat for them and they should just relax and get quietly drunk. If it's at theirs, it's a little more difficult. Maybe you should just have the large drink and hope to become sufficiently trousered before the meal that you've stopped caring how the turkey was cooked.

[Birchy]

You make it sound so simple. Banning them from the kitchen would be met with wobbly bottom lips and vast emotional scars that alter wills. As for the large drink.....a half-filled moderately-sized wine glass would be emptied faster by evaporation than their drinking. I hate fuss and nonsense, and would appreciate an easy way that takes away all that parental flapping, but doesn't make them feel like they've been stabbed through the heart!

[ravenhair]

Oh God, I didn't realize it was quite that bad ... would it be possible to have most of the meal cooked by the time they get to your house, so that it's too late for them to intervene?

[Birchy]

It's not that bad....ooh, that hurt....it's just that my wife and I like to do things in a no-fuss way together. Whereas the in-laws have more of a "Man Job/Woman Job" divide. He hovers around the kitchen waiting for orders (like breathe in, breathe out) while she desparately attempts to appear laid back (in a panicky way). When it comes to "Christmas Turkey Mode", they are both experts .....but go about it in such a fussy way. Yes, perhaps I should just go with the flow, and let them get on with it. It's only a turkey, after all. Plug in the Oddbins Dripfeed and reeelaxxx!!!!!

[stanbee]

Brine the turkey Alice Waters , Chez Panisse style http://dir.yahoo.com/Society_and_Culture/Food_and_
Drink/Cooking/Recipes/Specific_Dishes/Dips__Sauces__and_Marinades/Turkey_Brine/