Whats The Point In Buying And Owning A Property?

[renegadefm]

Just recently lost My dad. He worked hard all his life and passed away at 91.

But worked hard to buy the family home. Poor Mum is faced with having to leave the family home as she needs someone with her 24/7 something we are too stretched to provide, as we all got jobs etc ourselves.

So this will mean the family home will have to be sold to pay the care home for my Mum to move into. 

The issue from my point of view, is what was the point of owning a home, for it all to be gone towards a care home?

I'm pretty sure when Dad was younger he would have wanted to pass it onto me or sister to keep it in the family, but sadly now that won't happen. 

The way the system is set up is all wrong because if we knew then what we know now I would have had a mortgage and bought my home, and I'm pretty sure Dad wouldn't have either. 

If you rent a property theres less stress because if something needs fixing you contact the landlord. But I realise there are risks from renting too, for example the landlord might sell, and we could be terfed out. 

But what really is the point of owning a property, something that took a lifetime to purchase, only for it to be taken off you in a situation like we are faced with now? 

[Rosetta]

Having live in carers would cost an arm and a leg Barry. The best that a Council would supply is a 4x a day carer, and there would be no cover overnight. Not ideal if she has poor mobility and needs to use the loo during the night. In addition carers may not be able to provide the time slots that suits the persons normal routines, plus carers, who are in great short supply, may not be able to provide much continuity of personel. We had a hell of a time with my MIL, who had dementia, in getting a satisfactory care package and not for the want of trying.

in addition not everyone gets on well enough with their parents or parents in law for them to want the relative to move in with them 

[renegadefm]

barry1010, 

I suggested this with sister, I asked couldn't Mum have live in carers so she can stay in her own home, but sister said it would cost far too much, and its money we don't have. 

[Barmaid]

Ask about deferred payment.  The LA are obliged to offer this for residential care, I am not sure about the position for in home care.  Where is mum atm?  Have you got an adult social worker?

I have already said that the house may not need to be sold straightaway.

[barry1010]

A full time live in carer would cost around £1100 a week, she might only need a visit or two a day.  This in when equity release can be good.

Adult social services would be extremely helpful in assessing her needs, suggesting adaptations and pointing out level of care needed. The assessment is free.

[Boto]

Why should everyone else pay for your mother's care?

[ToraToraTora]

The OP makes a valid point that you work hard buy a house provide for yourself then the state takes it for care costs. Do burger all and ponce of the state your entire life and get it all buck shee at the end. Valid point 100% agree with that assesment. However to conflate that with not bothering to own a house is to take one aspect in isolation and put that out as the most important thing, it is not. I would hate to be at the whim of a landlord paying high rent for all my life and own nothing at the end of it. I told my kids, if they want the house they'll have to look after me in it, end of!

[-SharonA-]

A lot of people are under the impression that care for OAP should be paid for by the government.

NHS is strictly what is says, Health care only. Getting old and infirmed is not covered.

[ToraToraTora]

yes sharon but the beef here is that work shy scum that have contributed nothing get it free.

[Barmaid]

If you require nursing care as a result of something that is not just old age, NHS continuing health care may pay for some of it.  But residential care just as a result of getting older is not covered.

[Barmaid]

Yes, TTT, the work shy scum get it free.  As do those who worked all their lives at only subsistence/national wage level and were unable to save more than £23k or amass capital that exceeds that.    

[-SharonA-]

TTT, galling I must admit.

[renegadefm]

Boto, 

I wouldn't expect everyone to pay towards Mums care home fees. 

If the care homes didn't cost so much it wouldn't be so bad, but how do they justify 2 or 3 thousand pounds a month?  A five star hotel wouldn't be that expensive.

I dont understand how a care home is so expensive to run because the staff there don't get particularly good wages. 

Can you imagine if all the elderly patients paid 2 thousand a month, and there is 30 odd patients, thats 60 thousand a month the establishment is wracking in. That to me is astonishing. 

[david small]

My forty eight year old daughter has rented her house for twenty five years. She's just been informed the landlady is selling up. Out on her ear by March. She's paid for the house theee times over, and has nothing to show for it. Renting can be hazardous and insecure. She's up shut creek, and never once missed a rental payment.

[renegadefm]

david small, 

So sorry to hear this, and yes that is one of the horrors of renting. 

But on the flip side, theres another horror of losing the family home of over 55 years to the state, just because we can't always be there for my vunerable 90 year old Mum.

 

Like I said in an earlier post, I'm not interested in the inheritance, I just wanted the house to stay with family somehow. 

 

How can you measure the hard work gone into buying the house, for it to be dissolved into Mums future at a care home. Plus theres no guarantees her quality of life will be a good one there. 

She could be as someone else mentioned be sat next to someone with it all paid for by the state, something the tax payer like me is paying for. 

But there is just something really awful about losing the family home. 

When you think of all the memories in that house, its really painful having to let it go. 

Imagine over 50 Christmas's spent there apart from everything else. 

[barry1010]

Shop around, renegade. It can be as low as £800 a week, expect £1100 upwards.

The insurance they pay is horrendous, laundry costs are high too.

A few years ago many care homes went out of business because owners thought they were cash cows, only to be disappointed 

[renegadefm]

To put it another way its bad enough losing one of your parents, then to lose the family home we grew up in, its really quite horrifying. 

[barry1010]

It's unusual for a person to go into a home if they've been managing at home on their own, unless they have had an accident or suddenly declined.

Are you sure a few hours a week help won't be enough?

[renegadefm]

barry1010, 

Thanks barry but theres no way we could afford that, even if me and sister went halfs. 

I have my own bills etc, and live on the bread line. 

My wages only just cover my bills, etc. 

[barry1010]

Can't you move in with her with your family, or she move in with you?

What would you do with the house if it didn't have to be sold? You didn't answer when I asked earlier. I expect it would be left to you and your siblings

[renegadefm]

barry1010, 

But Mum has never been alone until 4 weeks ago when Dad died. 

Shes got slight dementia, but only slight, she just takes longer to compute everything, but shes no fool. 

But she hates being left alone, so we have had to take her everywhere we go, school runs, shopping etc. 

But we all have full time jobs aswell, so its a miracle we have coped as we have the past 4 weeks, but this can't continue, it simply can't.