Why Might This Be Happening To Me?

[abbeylee90]

Why is my life like this years single, still at home and not in a full time job.Since my ex just before covid I've been on dates bit no success first guy is my fault as I didn't make any effort I'm forever beating myself up. I meant go be meeting someone Saturday but don't think I like him. Also need a full time job I can settle in I shouldn't be at home at my age.

[newmodarmy]

I wondered how long it would be before you brought up the man from the dogs' home

[naomi24]

Abbey, do you still talk to the man from the dogs' home and tell him about your life?

[abbeylee90]

Naomi he messages me now and again 

[naomi24]

Do you tell him about your life?  

[abbeylee90]

Bits

[Moorea7]

On a lighter note, Abbey, tomorrow is 29th February when you can go out and propose to someone you fancy - would you consider that? 😊 Leap Year.

[jourdain2]

Abbey.... I've mentioned this before, but you need to stop this idea that the 'right man' will solve your problems. You need to concentrate on getting your work and home life in order first. The rest will follow - or not as the case may be.

If it is any help at all - the very last thing I wanted in my life was another man when I met Mr. J2, having been in a disastrous relationship.  He wasn't looking either, having settled into being a widower for 15 years and got his life comfortable enough.  But we met while singing in a choir and all of a sudden - that  was that, both our lives were disrupted and here we are many years later.

In other words, I repeat what I wrote to start with. Get your life in order and forget about men. Who knows what will happen? 

 

[naomi24]

Which bits, abbey?  Jobs, driving lessons, AnswerBank?  

[abbeylee90]

He knows I'm having lessons and thinks I'm in care home

[naomi24]

What about AnswerBank?

[barry1010]

Speak to your GP but I don't think you depression in the clinical sense that needs medication, you're just fed up.  I'm not a doctor, your GP might think differently but maybe you would benefit from counselling.  Contact your local NHS talking therapy service, you can refer yourself. 

[abbeylee90]

Doubt he can use this

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, I know you've kept the move - from the care home to the small job at the laundry - from most people, but do you ever talk things over with your friends, ask for advice there? Sometimes all we need is someone to give us a prod in the right direction! You drifted your way through 2023 and 2024 got off to a bad start too. I'm sure some of your friends must have moved jobs, changed careers, they could maybe help you.

[lankeela]

You told us you were not going to respond to the man from the dogs home.  Why are you replying to his messages?

[abbeylee90]

Never they been in thiers longer than me 

[abbeylee90]

Coz he don't come down dogs home no more he even said to someone I don't want to know him anymore 

[david small]

Don't knock yourself. My youngest son was 32 when he left home. It's certainly not uncommon these days. Don't try too hard at life. Go with the flow more. Enjoy your now's,  as all too soon they will become when's. Your a loved child of the universe, so I'm led to believe, so believe it.

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, you mentioned before that you didn't want to tell your friends you'd changed jobs - again - and I think this is probably because you know yourself that you were... not very good at some jobs, not very good at finding yourself a better job. I think you knew you were just faffing around, lurching from one bad thing to another. Your friends might have delivered some advice, along with some straight talking - such as 'lucky you, getting to work just 16 hours a week, I wish I could do that'. I think it was all too easy for you to just stay where you were. Of course, that couldn't last for ever - now you're 100s of pounds in debt, don't enjoy your job and are pinning your hopes on the next one being truly great all round.

[abbeylee90]

Neveracrossword I haven't been applying for jobs I can't do and that why I don't tell my friends incase things go wrong. I been going to bed early because I'm so upset

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, that sounds quite sad, but your situation - with the jobs - has been going on for ... years really. Yes, there will be loads of jobs that you can't do - but there must be things that you can, things that you could put up with to bring in a more normal income surely? Are your friends all high-flyers, or are they a mixture of normal/everyday jobs and good careers? People on AB suggested you seek proper help last year, but you shrugged that off...