Moving In With Someone #2

[Adriana Loui]

I posted a question a little while ago, and the question was if it was possible to move out at 15, and yadda and such. My tittle was Moving In With Someone, but anyways thank you to everyone who answered respectfully without calling me just ignorant lol but anyways i did talk to my mother but i just cant get her to listen, she told me i was wasteing her time and that my time wasnt worth hers. Then she told me to go off and finish my chores or i was done. meaning i wud get in trouble. What do i do now? i just cannot get my mother to listen to my problems and my grandma and grandpa wont do n e thing about it becuase they are afraid of loosing my mom and daughter and my grandma cant afford me cuz she hardly has enough money for herself, how do i resolve this problem? i hate to sound like such a begger but this place really helps, please dont respond with messages that basically indicate i am stupid. I just want to know wat u wud do, and wat i could do to better my situation. please and thank you everyone

[Ethel]

Adriana - you are in a dreadful situation and need to be strong and make plans for the long term.

You are stuck with your mum for the time being so try and make the most of it.

Talk to your teacher (I know - boring) about the options for working away from home when you are slightly older. See if they come up with any suggestions that are realistic and that you can start to work towards now.

If you feel in control you will feel better and more able to cope.

If you are in danger that is different.

I am worried that you are so eager to leave home you could find yourself in serious trouble. Be aware that offers of help may not be genuine, that some people are not nice and will try to take advantage of you.

Use this time to gain life skills so that you can look after yourself when the time comes.

I wish you well. Take care.

[Miss Zippy]

I echo what Ethel says. Assuming you are not in any danger (you don�t say you are), I would try and stick this out for a couple of years until you are in a better position to be able to move out. I�m sure in your previous post that no-one on here really meant to say you are ignorant. It is just that us relative oldies have experience on our side and we know how difficult it can be to get along in the first few years after leaving home, let alone when you leave home at a very young age and with no material income. It is also difficult for anyone to relate precisely to your situation and hence give constructive advice unless they have either been in your shoes themselves or perhaps have professional experience of working with young people in your situation. Have you tried getting in touch with Connexions? They are a national organisation that offer all sorts of help and advice to young people. Other than getting professional help on how you can improve your situation, all I can advise you to do is to try and focus and work towards a medium term goal that will eventually lead you to be able to move out of home. E.g. do you want to go to Uni? If you do, focus on that goal and work hard in the next two years on getting good A levels. If you want to go straight to work after school, make sure you research your career options and don�t fall into the trap of going for a job that offers no prospects just so you have money in your pocket to allow you to move out, otherwise you could be setting yourself up for a life of poverty. Good luck Adriana.

[BlueHeaven]

Adriana, I haven't seen your other post but from what you've said here, you really need to be a bit cunning where your mum is concerned. There's a saying: "Kill them with kindness" (no, I'm not saying kill her!!), it just means no matter what negative things she says to you, just be on your best behaviour, be very nice to her and bite your tongue when you feel cross with her. After a while, she will notice and things will start to change. Her attitude towards you will change and she will have more respect for you. She will realise that you are growing up and (hopefully) start treating you accordingly. Just remember that you ARE worth peoples' time - otherwise none of us would have bothered to reply. I made a lot of mistakes when I was your age and a bit older and I hate seeing people your age making the same ones - I know it sounds boring, but do your best at school, go to college/6th form, maybe Uni, maybe take a year out and work abroad, find out who you really are and give yourself the best chance in life because no one else will do it for you. Stick it out with your mum for as long as possible, because once you leave you realise how hard life really is. Talk to your teachers, careers adviser if you have one, really think hard about where you want to be in 10 years time and then do everything you can to make it happen.

I really hope you get through this difficult time in your life and wish you all the very best. Let us know how you get on!