Bullies At Work

[phleb]

there is one staff member that is a big bully, and I haven't taken to her from day one. I observed the way she speaks to people, and how she talks behind their backs. She is a big lady, and intimidates some staff, and no one sticks up for themselves. Well, yesterday she was vocal with me for all the patients to hear, I got annoyed so told her to f off in a nice way. She didn't say anything after that. I have my PDR soon, so wondering whether I should mention to the boss that there is bullying going on, she isn't the only one. There is another one that is behaving like her, but not as bad.
Also this large bully always made me uncomfortable on my first week. She was unhelpful and rude to me. A lady left recently, they collected for her pressie, and only 5 people contributed, the bully and a few others didn't because she stuck up for herself with them.

[phleb]

:-) at veggiekray

[brandyrose]

Hi Phleb,
I hope this helps - -- IThis is a difficult one. Unhelpful and rude doesn't necessarily mean this person is a bully. Being a big lady doesn't make her a bully either. I think if you are new you might not have given this person or yourself a chance - could be a clash of personalities or you are alike in some ways! You had a go at her too - she listened to you (positive)- . If you think this person is stressed out and or needs help or support it might be a better angle in your approach as you might find if you can talk to her you might find that you like her alot and she may really like you (dont assume the worst before getting to to know her) Some people dont contribute to presents for all sort of reasons and it can be money issues as much as anything else but that is a right individuals have. She could be just honest and true to herself.

Get a highlighter and spend time DIGESTING the policy everyone hates doing this and see what the company stance is on bullying but get clear on what happened and in my experience lots of staff talk behind backs (its normal). Make sure others arent using you to stir things up. Stay calm and professional and positive - reacting is going to make you lose your power . I cant tell if bullying has happened here and bullying is very serious and she may be very upset if she thought she had made you feel this uncomfortable.
It is often better to ask advice from senior or supervisor about this as sometimes they can help you understand what might be happening, help the relationship or help you deal depending on what you want to do. You are likely to be asked if you want to make a complaint too so be prepared and I would recommend that you keep matters confidential - especially from colleagues. You may be on your own if you complain. As I said earlier - she may think you are great and be very upset if she thought she had was coming across like this so getting the facts straight would realy help you I think. There is a great chance to have a happy outcome but check whether you really meant what you said about her as she isn't being given any slack by you Phleb! Best of luck...

[phleb]

Well.............. she was nice to me today, I think she felt guilty about her behaviour towards me (it was not necessary). I am going to try to get on with her, as I wouldn't want to cause an atmosphere, and also its good to give people a chance.

[boxtops]

Phleb, you are in an NHS organisation, there will be a policy on your intranet about bullying and harrassment. Print it off and see if this fits. It may be a cultural thing - what one person finds forthright, another sees as picking on people. You need to be very clear how this is defined as bullying - but it wouldn't hurt to raise it at 1:1 if it's affecting your performance at work.