Proofreading - Motivational Letter

[fatema]

Hello everyone! I hope you can take a look and proofread my Scholarship letter. I would appreciate any type of suggestions. Thank you in advance.
"This latter is written by me and my cousin ;-) "
(My latter is on google drive and here is link)
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JRw0x4P10Pv5qGCU2_MmlXI4mK4p6alP/view?usp=sharing

[Paigntonian]

Your English is not good. It would take several hours to correct. How you gained a respected qualification is beyond me.

[emmie]

Fatema is not from these shores. English is not her first language.

[allenlondon]

Hello Fatema.

I’m afraid the letter needs a rewrite, not just proof-reading.

I’ll try and do it during the morning, then post here again.

Allen

[bobbinwales]

allen will write better than me but yours is far too long IMO, it would be better to do no more than a full page (maybe 300 words max) summarising why your perfect for it, Any extra info can be added as a CV or appendix so they can read it if you want

[fatema]

Thank you everyone for your comments, I tried my best to write my motivational latter, but unfortunately this is not up to the mark.

@allen thank you so much I will wait :)

[allenlondon]

Hello Fatema.

I agree with bobbinwales' comment about the length of your letter. Having received hundreds of CVs over the years, I would say that the VERY long ones do not stand much chance of being read!

Anyway, here is my attempt at rewriting your letter (note, it's a LETTER, not latter). Rejig it yourself as you see fit, of course... and good luck.


-----------------

I am interested in the Erasmus scholarship for international students. I have completed my Master's degree in International Relations from the University of Cairo (2018). I have recently enrolled at the University of Siegen in the Master's Roads to Democracy program.

My work experience includes working as a social media executive, and also as SEO for a well-known company (xxxxx). I want to enrol in your institution in order to enhance my knowledge, as well as gain practical experience. The theoretical knowledge I gain will help me in pursuing fields of interest. I think the scholarship program at Uppsala University is an excellent opportunity for international students, since it helps them manage their expenses while not being burdened with worry about fees.

This enables them to focus on different facets of research and academic work. The scholarships offered by such a prestigious institution as Uppsala University helps both the local and international students, and the standing of Uppsala in the academic world.

My teachers and research supervisors have been highly satisfied with my progress and performance, and in the work experience mentioned above, I have demonstrated organisation, management, and communication skills, working with, and also leading teams.

I believe I would benefit from this scholarship as it would enable me to expand my learning in one of Europe's most academically advanced countries, possessing a world-class infrastructure, education and healthcare system.

I believe that I am a well-qualified potential candidate for this scholarship with the necessary education background, experience and workplace profile to demonstrate my passion for this program.

Thank you and kind regards,

Fatema Al-Misiri

[fatema]

Thank you so much @allenlondon for your help, this is very helpful for me and also this very well written. Once again thank you.

I agree with @allenlondon and bobbinwales that my latter is very long, next time i will keep your suggestions in my mind.
Thank you so much :)