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Hi there
I wonder if anyone out there has some advice for me with regards to a problem I'm having with my boss at work�
Basically, my boss and I have a bit of a strange relationship. She is a very clever person, unbelievably busy within a high powered corporate position with lots of responsibility and drive. I am her assistant. When I say we have a strange relationship, what I mean to say is that she is quite cold and not very approachable with me, where as I am completely the opposite and I often feel awkward around her and not in-tune. I'm a friendly warm approachable person as in 'what you see is what you get' � there are no hidden agenda's with me�
Things got a bit better just before Christmas and I really thought we had come out the other end. The trouble is, is we have recently come back from a business trip together and worked really hard whilst I was there. I got lots of praise from various colleagues to say what a good job I was doing, but not from my boss.
Since we've got back she is even colder towards me and I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to have done. It's making me feel really miserable!! I know for a fact it's not a jealousy thing, because my boss is the one who made the conference happen and she did get publicly thanked for her amazing efforts�
My boss has been away from her office all morning (there isn't a meeting scheduled in her diary), so I have a really strong feeling that she has been down talking to HR about me saying that she's not happy with me. I can't explain it, just call it women's intuition, but I would bet money on it, that's where she's been. I should also say, that other than the problems I'm having with my boss, I really enjoy my job and I really like the company and I don't really want to have to leave�
I look forward to hearing from someone soon (hopefully) xx
No best answer has yet been selected by Anabel. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.only one way i know of - sit down and speak to her and explain feelings !
alternatively you could speak to hr yourself and explain the situation and they may be able to approach things differently.
do not worry about her seeing hr, providing you do your job well and there are no issues with disciplinary you will be fine even if you end up working for someone else.
Thanks for replying so quickly Theo - that's what I've been advised to do too. I don't know whether to speak to my boss first, or go to HR first...? I don't want to make a huge deal out of this, I just want my boss and I to get on!!
I think I'll send a note to my contact in HR requesting a confidential meeting during a lunch break sometime this week, so my boss doesn't miss me during the day...
Thanks again!! x
Your boss is a jerk. People in positions of responsibility often think it's acceptable to treat those under them like dirt.
Your boss irronically is the one with the problem because it's her inability to comunicate that leads her to treat people this way. It should be suggested (by your HR resource) that she goes on a personal development programme. This will identify to her the problems that she has, and more importantly that others have with her and give her the tools to modify her behavoir.
You're absolutely right xrayspecs - that's exactly what my boyfriend says. I don't think she has ever had to manage anyone before...and it totally shows.
I'm quite a sensitive person and have always wondered if I'm cut out to work in a corporate environment...I try and rack my brains to see what else I could do (that would also pay me enough to pay the mortgage), but I haven't come up with anything yet.. x
I am disappointed to say that some people are just oblivious to everybody else but themselves, that is how they get to the top in the first place. My hubbie who works for a large corporation ( as a director ) says that he has noticed, that exec. women are particularly dismissive to the other women in the office. I wouldn't bother too much with her phases just do your job as well as you can, if she's so fab. let's hope she gets headhunted and soon!
Thanks guys - I really appreciate the moral support, more than you'll ever know!!
There has been a development though...my boss called me into her office last night to ask me how she thought I had got on at the conference and I told her that I thought I had worked hard, shown lots of commitment and that I had received positive comments from other executive�s that were present at the conference. Unfortunately, she had another view and felt I hadn�t supported her enough and that I work for her and not the other executives.
Part of my job is quite analytical and I must say that numbers are totally not my forte. If there was such a thing as mathematical dyslexia, then I definitely have it. My boss has always said that it is a massive problem for her that I�m slow with numbers and Excel in particular and that she really needs someone to support her who has this skills set.
The long and short of it is, that we agreed we aren�t suited to work with each other. She praised my skills as a PA, and said I was the best PA in our department, but that she needed someone who has that little bit extra to be her executive assistant. I told her that I didn�t want to leave the company, that I enjoyed working here (I�ve been at the company for 9 months), so she suggested I speak to HR to see if there is a position somewhere else in the company�
What ever happens I�ll still be here at the end of the March, being the end of the fiscal year and they can�t do anything which will effect the budgets allocated for the year i.e. recruiting someone else�
I�m going to make that appointment with HR this morning and see what they say. I�ll keep you lovely people posted� xx
Hi Creeker
I know exactly how you feel, if you don't initiate conversation to try and get on some kind of personal level, then it just doesn't happen...the same applies to me...
I spoke to HR yesterday and on the face of it they seem very supportive and understanding about the situation, but the problem is, is that there aren't any internal jobs at present and HR weren't sure if there would be any, so I'm a bit stuffed really.
I might end up having to go down the disciplinary route at the end of March, in order to buy me some time...
I hate all of this and I'm feeling particularly down about it today. It doesn't help that it's so miserable outside...
Good luck to you Creeker and keep smiling :o)) xx
Hang in there Anabel, by all means contemplate a plan of action in case all the facts remain the same. However things can change in the blink of an eye. Not always for the worse.
Sorry you felt bad today, but on the bright side if this is a sizable company there is lots of potential for someone to lose the plot and chuck it all in within the next eight weeks.
Be positive! Need some entertainment contemplate asking to join the pension scheme down at H.R. (if you are in qualifying period) just to see their reaction, you can do lots of escapist mental gymnastics to keep you going. Post a thread for suggestions to give yourself a lift. Sense X
Anabel - Your boss is still a Jerk. She clearly demonstrates that she hasn't the skills necesary to manage or mentor. Your better off out of it. Take heart though. PA's with your skills are widely sought after. The Guardian Newspaper has a secretarial employment section (I can't remember which day of the week though) in which there are PA positions advertised regularly. Ok so you don't like numbers - your not alone! concentrate on the skilss you have, and the bits of your job you enjoy and make those skills work for you. Good luck.
Hi xrayspecs
You're very sweet and all your support does make me feel better! Thank you!!!
You're right about the management and mentoring and lack of it. She hasn't got a clue. She has never set me any clear objectives or gave me any feedback on my performance and her communication skills totally need work on.
I need to start being proactive now in finding something else, but it's hard when your confidence is at an all time low... :o( xx