Complaining about fellow employee?

[malaise]

I have a meeting with my manager tomorrow, and would like to discuss the behaviour and attitude of a fellow employee. This person is a lot older than I am, and I feel looks down on me. She is constantly rude, questioning, undermining, and makes everyone feel inadequate. She rushes about causing stress in a working environment that can so easily be stress free! (I work in a residential care home for adults with SLD). She also contradicts herself and I feel overfeeds one guy in particular, and babies him (he's 29, and I don't think it's appropriate to call him a "clever wee boy" since he's a MAN!). I've enquired with fellow workers as I thought I might be being paranoid, but I'm getting similar feedback and stories from my other colleagues (the younger ones especially, and the newer staff), who are all equally annoyed by her. The other colleagues have spoken to the manager about her but didn't name names, and I don't know if I should follow this tactic, or come out and say it. I don't even know if this woman is aware of what she's saying and how hurtful it can be (basically insinuating that we are all incapable of doing our jobs properly without her telling us what to do - how does she think we manage when she's not on shift?!) and I daredn't speak to her directly as I think it would create even more friction...
This is driving me demented. Do I let my manager know my concerns, or do I just do the same as the other staff e.g put up and shut up? :-S

[Sparkles3]

People are all very different and approach tasks in very different ways - sometimes all appropriate. If you believe this lady is undermining you and upsetting you, then I would suggest you discuss it with her and make her aware of your feelings.

I personally think if it is causes you this much trouble, you should talk to her about it yourself. You say it will cause friction, but there is obviously not a great relationship as it is! I know that I would be far more receptive to a tactical and diplomatic conversation with a colleague than if my boss called me in to speak about what my colleagues had been saying about me, if they hadn't approached me about it first.

You say yourself that you're not sure she's even aware of what she's saying - so by raising the issue to her/your boss without discussing it with her first, I think is a little unfair. But equally I don't think you should 'put up and shut up' because it's not a positive environment to work in.

[tomestone]

What is important is that you make your manager aware of this issue and formally write out a greivance that can be used as part of the greivance procedure workplaces have.Explain your issue at the meeting but stress that the company has a duty and obligation to health and safety at work,the conduct and attitude of the said person may be breaching the HS act,also the company should have a bullying harrasment and intimidation policy that covers issues like this.ask for a formal responce from the company in writing to their outcome of the issue.good luck.

[pagey]

dont be afraid to get the support of your fellow colleagues and aproach your manager as a group. It will have more impact and make your manager realise that the issue is severe and in urgent need of addressing.

Fortunately I now work in a company that is fairly laid back and most of the staff are very friendly, athough I have been in worse organisations in the past and relate to your experiences.

Ultimately, I would ensure that she changes or leaves and if not, you start looking for a new employer. There is no reason you should have to put up with her behaviour if it is as bad as you make it out to be. You deserve to enjoy your job and live a happier life as a result.

Good luck!

[malaise]

Thanks everyone.

I spoke with my manager directly and told her my concerns. She said that it's not the first time this has been a problem, and that she'll talk to this lady without my name being involved.

Hopefully that will be enough to make her realise that at least one of her colleagues have raised a concern with the boss, so the behaviour will hopefully stop!