Issue with school headmaster

[bluet]

My 12 year old son had his tie confiscated and thrown into the bin yesterday by his college head teacher because he had pulled out some of the threads and made a black "stripe" on the red tie.
We had no time last night to purchase another tie.
I wrote a pleasant letter this morning to the headmaster, stating that I was unhappy as to the way this situation had been handled and that the tie needn't have been thrown away but that he could have simply commented and we would have purchased a new one. Many children have done this to their ties (its the current "trend") but somehow he singled out my son who is well behaved and hard working.
He read the letter, then proceeded to tell my son that the letter was "pathetic" and told him "he could always find a new school, there are lots of other schools around here". He then took my son to the office gave him a new tie and said "I want £4.50 for this tie tomorrow or I will be taking this further".
I am at a loss to know what to do next, we feel victimised and bullied and all over a silly school tie. I do feel that I would like to make a formal complaint about the head teacher's comments and behaviour but don't want to cause further trouble for my son.
What do people think? Opinions/advice gratefully accepted please?

[Lily_Lilbert]

Teachers are not God, they need to treat people with respect. This one sounds arrogant beyond belief.

[B00]

Lily- as we've already said and which bluet already knows, she (or he) needs to get the full picture before she (or she)takes any further action.

As reasonable adults, the majority of us SPEAK calmy and rationally to get information. What do you suggest bluet does, go in with a crow bar?

[DTCwordfan]

Be fair, Bluet is showing signs of cooling down and approaching this rationally.......

[bluet]

Cheers folks, some good advice. I'm on my own bringing up two boys so its nice to get some outsiders input into these "little issues that are sent to try us" and how to handle them fairly. It is the first time I have been on Answerbank, a friend recommended it to me, really impressed, apart from one person having a go at me which was unfair! Thanks chaps x

[B00]

I dunno where you get they were being otherwise DT? From what I see Bluet was being extremely calm from the word go.

[B00]

Hope you stick around then bluet, some great folk on here.

Keep us updated on this situation, and good luck :-)

[bluet]

Thanks Boo... was a bit shocked at that myself. Think some people must just be on here to have an online arguement!

[Coobeastie]

"This one sounds arrogant beyond belief"

Sounds being the operative word.

[Coobeastie]

Good luck Bluet hope you get to the bottom of this.

[factor-fiction]

As a teacher I know most pupils persuade their parent they are being picked on. (Example fro today- daughter is on phone texting friends all lesson, ignores several warnings and then refuses to hand over phone. Teacher arranges detention. Parent is irate that teacher tries to issue detention because daughter says she was only using it once as a calculator during the lesson but others were doing it so why does teacher single her out. What parent doesn't know is that 3 other pupils had phones taken off them the same lesson).

Whilst I think the teacher in your case could have handled it better and shouldn't have said in front of others that your letter was pathetic, it may be that your son was not the only one picked out, and maybe several warnings had been given that the next time a pupil does this the tie would have to be replaced.

I suggest you pay for a new tie and move on.

I'm not clear what would you like to see happen.

[ruthandsam]

I hope it went ok for you today bluet when you met up with the HT. Keep us informed on how it went.......xx