Divorce.

[tylers]

If your wife decides to leave the marital home through her own accord, what is she entitled to take. If divorce happens, I have evidence of adultary and maritial deception(she is unaware)I will use this should it come to this, she will no doubt contest my unreasonable behaviour in that I put the business first to provide for her and the kids. She has a very good wage and enjoys the lifestyle however, she says she has had enough. I have tried to reason without success.

[VHG]

You seem to have asked one question "what is she entitled to take".

The rest of your text seems to be you letting us know background details to your possible upcoming divorce and I can see no "question" there.

I would say at the moment she is only allowed to take personal belongings and presents given to her by her relatives/friends.

[redcrx]

but she may be entitled to lots more depending on what you can both agree or what courts decide if it comes to that.
adultery etc arent really taken into consideration when splitting assets and arranging money for whoever has custody of children etc.

[hc4361]

When it comes to dividing the assets the court does not take in to account adultery or any other behaviour that caused the divorce.
If you own the house jointly she will be entitled to half of the equity, more if she has taken the children with her, regardless of how much she has paid in to it.

[tylers]

Thanks VHG. It is a question based on a what if scenario. It could happen and I want to be in the driving seat (legally) if it comes to her walking out. The divorce issue will be further down the line and I don't want to give her ammo that can be used against me if I have acted unreasonably in the eyes of the law.

[VHG]

I read your question as "what is she entitled to take NOW" (before any divorse proceddings are started).

Of course if and when you get divored everything like that will be discussed and agreed (well hopefully agreed).

For example if you have children and SHE gets custody SHE may be able to stay in the house and you have to move out (that happend to me).

Or you may both decide to sell the house and split the money between you, and split the contents between you.

As has been said, there is no "blame" in divorces now so neither of you will be "punished" for your behavoiur.

So, for example, there is no way your wife will be told she is not entitled to half the house or half the contents just because you think she is the guilty party.

Note that any pension you both have will be taken in to account, as well as savings, when it comes to your assets (so best to hide any savings you have !)

This of course can get very nasty and it is often hard for couple to agree on who gets what.

[josadler7]

My sympathy is with you tylers, I had a similar thing happen to me a few years ago. It seems women think they can have it all these days, she will probably go visit a 'nice' solicitor who will tell her she can have half of everything you have and will have, they will contact you and request you nominated legal council and then the lawers will bleed to pair of you white if they can. Hold firm, balls in her court and try and convince her to go to marriage counciling or an equitbale settlment forum, keep your powder dry on the other things and use them when you need them... Good luck.

[tylers]

Thank you to one and all, great advice on the keeping powder dry. It is difficult when you have this info not to bring it into play during the arguments, my lip is well and truly bitten. My main concern is obviously the kids. I will certainly be seeking custody based on her activities. I certainly don't want to put them into the "mums a ***" kind of environment.Not withstanding this, if there is a chance to keep the family together I may take it.
One tip, auto route in a car is a great item, when she puts the addresses in to take her to meet her latest bunk up she doesn't remove it... Also a GPS watch can show me exactly where and when....She must think I am a complete mug...

[factor-fiction]

... remember, though, that she may also be reading your AB postings!

[tylers]

Thanks Factor 30. As I said, she must think I am a mug. Her lack of attention to detail suggests it's not me that is the mug, all my tracks are covered.

[VHG]

>>>>One tip, auto route in a car is a great item, when she puts the >>>>addresses in to take her to meet her latest bunk up she doesn't
>>>>remove it... Also a GPS watch can show me exactly where and
>>>>when....She must think I am a complete mug...

Many years ago there was always a "guilty" party in divorces and often one of the couple (often the husband) had to go and spend the night with another person so that the wife (usually) could file for divorce based on adultery. This meant the husband was the guilty party.

Nowadys there is no "guilty party" in divorces so having evidence of adultery in autoroute or GPS will not gain you very much (much as I can sense the glow of satisfaction you seem to have).

If your wife does try to divorce you based on "unreasonable behaviour" you can at least cross petition on adultery, but when it comes to deciding who has custody of the kids, or who stays in the house, any judge will base it on what is good for the kids, not who has been the cause of the marriage break up.

So even if you have proof she has committed adultery she could still get custody of the kids, or still get the right to stay in the house until the kids are 18 (or leave full time education).

Much as it may seem unfair, that is the way it is (as many men will tell you).

[hc4361]

Is she keeping the household going whilst your assets are frozen?

[factor-fiction]

Yes, I was going to ask whether the assets freeze was still in place.
http://www.theanswerb.../Question1060023.html

[NOX]

As a male I actually agree with redhelen, and when you split up with someone the more amicably it can be done ( especially if kids are involved) the better, so I'd start communicating with her rather than trying to one up her.

[tylers]

I am not trying to get one up, I am trying to protect my position and my children. When I say adultary I mean many liasions in seedy hotels with guys met off the internet. This is why I don't want to expose my kids to something like this, I see it as an unreasonable risk. The freezing order is still in place, not many answers given on AB. I am still no further with varying or discharging as LAC have delayed making a decision on legal aid. This was a no notice order and a review date was not issues therefore, I don't have the automatic right to respond.
What I did to help the marriage was put the family first, a little too late by all accounts and I will take the hit for that. She was happy to take the spoils of my labour prior to everything going south, now she is just acting like a tramp whilst playing the hard done by wife, constantly lying to me and the kids.

[tylers]

...and believe me when I say I have tried to communicate with her.

[VHG]

>>no women goes looking elsewhere if everything is hunky dory in the marriage.

That's not totally true.

Some men and women just like to have relationships outside marriage.

Does not always mean the marriage is bad, some people find marriage boring (or pehaps were not meant to marry) and they just like the thrill of a "bit on the side".

Look at someone like Rod Stewart. Seems to find the partner he wants, marries them, has children, then goes of to look for another conquest.

Many other examples (Charlie Sheen !)

[hc4361]

You make her out to be a lazy slattern, but earlier you say she has a very well paid job, so I presume she does contribute financially

[redman41]

She would probably be entitled to half the Business if you have your own Business to run. Consult a Solicitor

[tylers]

Thanks HC, not a lazy slat, just a ***. I was even going to put her profile details on here for the guys/or girls to look her up as she advertises on a dating site for intimate relations (she doesn't know I know about this either) she even mentions our kids on this!!!! and how they are important, oh really. I will resist and bite my lip once more.