domestic violence want to withdraw

[confusedwome]

my b/f assaulted me and my child got slapped across the face in all this, i went to a neighbours and she called the police they came took a statement and pictures and i signed this but totally honest i didnt relise i was pressing charges i was totally in shock that my b/f assaulted me, the police asked me question and asked about arguig falling out and assaulting me they asked how often does this go on and i said every six months if that, i actually ment the agruing now my b/f isnt allowed contact in anyway and aint allowed near the house, ive been told he appeared in court and they have ajourned it with bail conditions standing and he as to go back in about 4 weeks. i totally want my b/f back in to the house need to speak to him and see him i miss him like mad and my son more he isnt a violent man he had a drink and a bad time at work what do i need to do to sort this out and how long will it take ?? p.s i said assault but on papers he has got it says battery i pursume this is the same thing

[Beanmistriss]

A drink and a bad time at work is no excuse. He is a violent man, he's proved it by assaulting both you and your child. If you can't be strong for you then be strong for your son. He should be able to grow up without fear of being abused.

I think I remember something about a change in the law to say that assualt charges will still be followed up in domestic violence cases even if the person who was assaulted doesn't want them to be. This is to protect people who change their minds because they are afraid. So even if your statement was withdrawn they could still press charges against him. Hopefully someone else will correct me if this is wrong.

I hope for your son's sake you don't take too long to wake up to reality. Someone who is abusive sometimes is as bad as someone who is abusive once in a blue moon. You and your son will spend your lives walking on eggshells in case he kicks off again, even though you probably would say that s not true. I wish you all the luck in the world.

[becky1981]

i think that you should leave it until the courts decided what to do, i dont agree with men assaulting women but you must think that your son got hurt in this too, is that what you want your son to grow up with and end up thinking its ok to slap women about? my main thing i wanted to say though is that you may need to talk to him and see him to sort stuff out but you musnt do it because no doubt that is his main bail condition,no contact with you or any third party thats to do with you, you will only make it worse for him so stay away and wait, he may be bailed again in 4 weeks time pending further investigation but if it was me and i wanted it to be not so bad for him then i would stay away and wait for after the court date.

[Wonderous]

The Crown Prosecution Service can force you to go to court if they feel they have a reasonable chance of prosecution and if the circumstances are serious enough. I hope in this case they do. Someone needs to protect your child from violence and you seem unable to at present. Your child's welfare must come first and if you are willing to allow this man back into your child's life then you are incredibly naive that this won't happen again and the court needs to act. I wouldn't be surprised if the police don't refer you to social services as well.

[sleepyj]

it has to go to court now . i know some one else this hapened to they got back togetter but it still went to court .

[RATTER15]

I hope they lock him up for a very long time, men who hit Women are absolute SCUM and should be treated accordingly!!!

[boro1986]

You are a sponge he hits you but also your child and you are willing to forgive him!!!!!!!

[redcrx]

any man that lashes out after a hard days work and a drink IS a VIOLENT man, no matter which way you look at it.
Now thats entirely up to you if youre willing to allow yourself to be abused by him in such a way (tho god knows why you would) but to accept him hitting your child? What on earth are you thinking woman, get away from this monster and seek help.
By allowing this to be brushed under the carpet and continue then you will be just as much at fault for the abuse to your child in my opinion.

[confusedwome]

ok thanks for all the posts but this was the first time he ever hit me and i was totally shocked if i didnt trust him i wouldnt let him back ! i love my kids and they are my world but he also wants his daddy back

[boro1986]

Its the first time well that makes it ok. Wake up and smell the coffee if he has done it once he can do it again

[redcrx]

if it was first time he had hit you then, as i said, thats your choice. But he hit your child! Can you not see why anyone would be concerned for that childs safety?

[WendyS]

i think you and your boyfriend both need the mental space that is being forced on you both to think through your long term options. If it is the only time he has been violent, the court case and restrictiions on him will hopefully have taught him a hard lesson. And you should use his absence to think seriously about whether somebody who assaults you and your son can be trusted not to do it again.
Violence is rarely "one off" and if your boyfriend can't control his anger and his temper when under stress, he's going to be an unreliable partner and you could have more traumatic events ahead of you.

[dinger128]

Battery is common assault. You can withdraw your complaint if you wish, but it will require a visit to the police station and a statement. However if it has already been to court, you may be required to attend and explain why you want to drop the complaint.

As well as this hassle to yourself, you will annoy several police officers who have given a lot of time to you to make sure a procecution goes ahead, not including court time and the ammount of public money spent on the case.

And on a last note, if he's done it once, he'll probably do it again. Be very, very careful.