Can She Do This?

[jeanijay]

my son told his children on the phone that he would pick them up from school for a couple of hours, their mother does all she can to stop access,
actual conversation is impossible between them but he is aware that the
calls are monitered on the speaker
She refused a negotiation meeting,makes offers through her solicitor regarding an offer for share of house equity and now point blank to discuss it, as no arrangement has been made yet regarding access to children it all is a stalemate. She is now saying he is bullying her and if he picks up the kids she will go to the police and have him arrested and he will go to prison ........so question is , can she?

[boxtops]

If he's not allowed to pick the children up from school, then perhaps she can. What's the arrangement?

[ummmm]

Boxy, it sounds like mum is trying to stop dad from seeing the kids.

Has he got parental rights?

How old are the kids?

Have they been to court?

[yogi-bear]

As Boxtops asks, jean...is there any ongoing arrangement in regards to his rights to see the children? Seems there isnt as you mention above that no arrangement and a stalemate so far. Does he have any access to the children
at all, maybe alternate weekends etc?

Hopefully your son already has a solicitor that can soon negotiate with hers to get to a compromise......has this not gone to court if she has been unreasonable regarding this?

[boxtops]

That's the way I read it, ummm - but we need to know what access rights he has.

[jeanijay]

Had a court meeting last year, court ordered him to let her live in the house and he could live there for the week ends to be with the children obviously that was not working so the children were picked up for a few hours on Saturdays. She said that by not living in the house he had broken the deal so she would not honour any other arrangement. As this divorce is mutual and she and his best friend were living together at the time he has dealt with this without a solicitor whereas the other party has run up an horrendous bill, even sent a solicitors letter demanding £5 for soap powder used and had a barrister on the court occasion. He feels sure that all the costs will be awarded against him as she claims benifits, her earnings are all cash in hand. He is living in my box room now

[EDDIE51]

Get your son to contact 'Familys Need Fathers' it is a charity set up to deal with situations such as this, it has a help and advice line .
I will google it amd post the link.

[EDDIE51]

Here you are , these people are the real experts in this field all advice is free, in some cases they can even provide legal help in court.
http://www.fnf.org.uk/

[Brinjal]

Yes nothing is ever achieved. It having arguments and harsh words with the other party. He needs legal advice as to the way forward.

[tonywiltshire]

You son should obtain legal guidance as soon as possible, there is a helpful organisation called Resolution which can put you in touch with solicitors who have Family law experience. In the meantime he should try, I know it can be difficult, to do everything by agreement, if the court has found he can visit the children at weekends he should try to do so, if there is a contact order and it was granted after the 08-12-2008 there will be a warning notice attached with the contact order. If your son’s ex-partner refuses him permission to see the children at weekends he should report this to the court, he should not take action not approved by the court.

[jeanijay]

yes there was an order not to send abusive texts to each other, he complies she won't but asking to see his kids she classes as bullying. Any way he did pick up the children yesterday, thankfully common sense prevailed....so far. She is now asking for mediation having refused to turn up for the first appointment, hopefully this can be sorted out then, I will be showing your points to him though as you can always use good advise. I am so glad my marriage has lasted 55 years, I dont think I could have gone through all this awful divorce business

[tonywiltshire]

JJ, I have not been married as long as you but I am grateful that I married, what turned out to be the right person, we are very lucky, some others through no fault of their own, such as your son, are not so lucky. The best advice, which may not be easy to take, is to do everything according to court instructions, do not put himself in the wrong. Children will have a desire at the right age to discover their true Father.