Lisa, does the listing state at all where the item is located?
Was there an address anywhere on your invoice or on listing ?
See what the telephone number is
http://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/ebayadvsearch?_sofindtype=9
Seler will get your details but if it's a UK one, it's possible you may well be bale to argue that point
Never use caps in a dispute, keep it simple and keep it clear
Try Buyer Central forums for other ideas
Eddie is right, for the most part, ebay will make the buyer return, tracked. You signed up for it when you agreed the T&C's on ebay