Defensive Weapon

[tamborine]

What do you have a defensive weapon against intruders into your home ?

[shoota]

Son 1, he's formidable!

[sunny-dave]

A nice stiff poker ...

[anneasquith]

a moat ,

[Frank97]

< Frank, or if that doesn't put them off, a mahogany baseball bat that I made in school.

[shoota]

Why do you ask Tambo? Are you under siege?

[ummmm]

A hurley and a hocky stick.

[jomifl]

A heavy metal bodied torch with ultra bright LEDs. Blind them with the light then hit them over the head. It cannot be construed as an offensive weapon (like a baseball bat or a cosh) as it would be a perfectly reasonable thing to have in your home especially at night at night. The razor sharp meat cleaver might be difficult to explain..

[jomifl]

and at night too :-)

[Ken4155]

The outer perimeter is booby trapped with explosive devices. Those invited to visit receive a 'safety' map. The inner perimeter is guarded by 3 very ferocious and very hungry Doberman's which i never feed. Their only food comes from what they can catch. Inside my front door is a trap door that reveals a snake infested pit. Unless you know the password, you're in trouble. Get past the snake-pit and a picture of my ex-wife glares at you from the wall. If you can withstand all that, you are free to take my meagre belongings.

[Peter Pedant]

A mad neighbour has a mear cleaver and hangs it behind the front door on one of the pegs.

When the Police visited on 'an unrelated matter' and faced with it as the front door was pulled open to let him out, asked what is that

and the fella said - Oh I have been looking for that for a long time, thank you officer...

[tamborine]

Son had an aerosol fire extinguisher; I thought excessive. Knowing my luck blitzers rarely work when needed.

Dogs are my choice, even if only an alert

[Peter Pedant]

Ken and no one has got past the picture of the ex - wife ?
turned to stone they are....

[The Builder]

Mrs Brown's Boys ................... on repeat .............

[jomifl]

That's so touching Ken...

[albaqwerty]

2 golf bags with clubs and putters in them.
Don't see the point of putting them in the cupboard cos there's no room.

[Peter Pedant]

I used to keep an axe under the bed

[sandyRoe]

A shop near where I used to live always had a couple of baseball bats in the window. They sold well which was a bit surprising as I've never seen any local kids using them to play baseball.

[Baldric]

Ditto with us Sandy, only it was Rounders Bats here!

[Ken4155]

I used to rely on my dog to warn me of anything untoward. She's now 13 years old, is as deaf as a post - though she can lip read when i mention food - and is over-friendly with anyone who crosses my threshhold. I swear she would help any burglars carry my belongings away.

[jomifl]

PP....so that you could chop up the bed for firewood on chilly nights?