Help With Elderly Mother

[maclarencat]

Can anyone give me any advice. My mother is 86 and lives alone (my father died 13years ago) Until recently she seemed fine , she has always liked to complain about her lot in life but recently it has got worse. I live 100 miles away and I am my husbands carer so I cannot get over on a weekly basis but I do ring her every evening. She now tells me she keeps blacking out , she has been to the doctor who referred her for heart and blood pressure tests which were clear. She hates being alone and even if someone visits she is depressed again as soon as they leave. Recently she was conned on the telephone out of money twice and spends a fortune on rubbish from catalogues which she then gives to the Deby & Joan as prizes or sends to the charity shop. Tonight she has told me that she received a letter offering a holiday to Cyprus & Turkey for 10days for £99 so she rang about it and gave them her card details!! The holiday worked out at £400 per person and she told them there would be 2 people as she would ask me to go with her. I obviously I cannot and anyway she is not fit to do the holiday and would have to pay a fortune for insurance with all her health problems. I have said to ring and cancel on monday I hope this is posssible She say the woman said she could. The thing is I do not know what to do. I cannot be there with her and I know she feels she is quite capable of living on her own , she does her own shopping and just has a cleaner come once a month . Has anyone any suggestions (helpful ones please)

[maclarencat]

Sorry posted in wrong place

[tamborine]

Phone the holiday company & cancel the holiday. Demand they refund her money or you cancel her credit card pdq

[maclarencat]

Thanks Tamborine unfortunately it was her debit card. I am feeling so weighed down by it all. She lost several hundred to a computer scam a few weeks ago and about 5 months ago to someone on the telephone who said they were fom a catalogue and owed her money so they needed her bank details to issue a refund. It seems it does not matter how many times I tell her not to give her details to people she still keeps doing it.

[mikey4444]

Can I gently suggest that some kind of confusion is starting to set in ?

I am not sure what the solution is but I think that perhaps it may be time to think about sheltered accommodation. Or perhaps moving her closer to you.

It may also be a good idea to consider having executive control of her affairs, with a Power of Attorney.

I'm not sure if what I have said is of any help, but sometimes difficult subjects need to be faced head on.

[Tilly2]

Mikey's suggestion of Power of Attorney is a good one.

[TheWinner]

I would contact her Bank, they are very good at protecting the elderly.

[maclarencat]

Thank you all for your support. I have decided to contact social services for an assessment for her. The money is secondary really , we can sort that out. I am just worried that she is not coping as well as she used to.