Ex Refusing To Tell New Address

[feebee102]

Quick question
My son and his partner of 5 years split up 2 years ago. He moved back home with me.
His ex lived in the next town and we where always looking after my 4 year old grandson so she could work during the week and also have him every weekend. They even work at the same place.
She recently went away for a week and we had my grandson so she could do this, although her family lived nearer to her she asked if we could do it.
She got a new boyfriend about 3 months ago and moved in with him 2 months ago. No problem there except she refuses to give my son the address and when we pick him up we have to meet her at the side of the road away from where she now lives.
She has moved 30 miles away.
She always dropped him off on a Friday and we took him back on a Sunday as it was better for my son as Sunday is the one day he doesn’t work.
All of a sudden it’s that we have to pick him up on a Friday. She gives us a specific time to pick him up and if there is a difference of 10 minutes either way she kicks off, yet she can be 2hrs late picking him up and her and her new boyfriend just laugh in my sons face.
Her new partner won’t acknowledge my son even though my son has tried to say hello to him etc.
My son is now thinking of getting solicitors involved as she is totally unapproachable.
Does he have the right to know where his son is living.
Can I add there is no restraining orders against him or anything. Everything was amicable until this new chap came along
Many thanks

[Bobbisox1]

Don’t think he’d have that right feebee, as long as your grandson isn’t in any danger, then knowing her address isn’t really relevant

[calmck]

Does you son have child support order and are custody arrangements in place? Maybe pick up and drop of should be arranged for local police station or similar then if she his late it can be noted by an authority. Your son needs to regularise all arrangements in case of problems in the future. His solicitor should probably have an address for the ex

[barry1010]

Your son has every right to know where his own child lives. If there is some sort of medical emergency whilst he is in your son's care then the health officials will need to the child's address and GP. There is no guarantee that the hospital will be able to contact the child's mother.

It won't be long until the child will be able to tell you where he lives, most 5 year olds can recite their address.

[elliemay1]

Do you think this is having a detrimental effect on your grandson or does he still seem happy?

[maggiebee]

Difficult if you want to see your grandson. Sounds like the ball is in her court and she's taking you for a mug. Your son needs to get custody arrangements sorted sooner than later. New boyfriend sounds like a total numpty and shouldn't be near your grandson; sending out all the wrong signals.

[feebee102]

elliemay he seems quite happy although he does say he’s being bullied by the new partners kids.

[feebee102]

Thank you all for your advice

[pastafreak]

Bobbi, how can knowing her address NOT be relevant? Even just to know what kind of home he is in...never mind for emergency situations. I'm sure you'd not put up with it if it were your grandchild.

[burlyshirley1]

I don't like the sound of him being bullied by the man's kids at all. I think your son should see a solicitor ASAP and he should definitely know where his son lives. I think I'd be worried about this little lad.

[Bobbisox1]

Him being bullied came late into this post in which case I wouldn’t allow him to go there and have someone look into the situation before allowing him to be in that environment

[feebee102]

It’s not physical bullying just name calling

[Bobbisox1]

It’s bullying feebee and her new partner won’t acknowledge your grandson?poor kid must feel quite miserable placed in that environment

[barry1010]

I can't imagine what would happen if, say, a police officer had cause to ask your son where his child lives and he can't tell them.

Is your son a registered contact for his child's school or nursery?

[barry1010]

The new partner won't acknowledge feebee's adult son, not her grandchild, Bobbi

[Bobbisox1]

Sorry, just reread it’s your son the new partner won’t acknowledge, not your grandson but I still wouldn’t want him amongst bully’s because bullying doesn’t have to be physical

[Bobbisox1]

I know Barry

[davebro]

If it's all been amicable up to now I don't see why she wouldn't tell her new address. Seems pretty odd to me.

[Bobbisox1]

Sounds like a jealous partner ( the new one)

[barry1010]

She could have moved in to the boyfriends home and he doesn't want her ex at his door; it could be totally unsuitable accommodation and she doesn't want the ex to know; there could be a history of ex turning up unexpectedly and causing a disturbance. Or she might just be a spiteful woman who wants everything done her way.

[feebee102]

barry101 he was contact at his old school but he’s due to start new school in September but son doesn’t know which school