Anonymous Letters

[Wuffles]

Hi all

 

my wife has got 2 anonymous letters sent to her saying I've been having an affair (one letter last year, one this year). After the second one I filed a police report but they've closed the case as they can't justify the expense but said they'd reopen it if another letter came. 

I think I know who it is but I didn't tell anyone as I did cheat with her. They were not threatening but obviously I don’t want this coming out. The last letter she said she'd prove it to my wife and show her the messages between us. I'm worried this will happen. 

 

what would happen if she got another letter? Would the police actually do anything? I really don't want to say I have an inkling who it is as it will be me confessing to cheating which I'm not prepared to do (I know, I just know. Don't need any lectures)

 

The letters and envelopes are typed, self sealing envelopes and local-ish post marks. First 2 sent recorded delivery but what if the next one is just plain first class snail mail? Can that be traced?

[barry1010]

You should be praying they can't trace her because this woman can prove she was telling the truth.

[naomi24]

If you're a serial adulterer maybe it's time to consider whether the single life would suit you better.  Your wife clearly isn't who or what you want so really it's not fair to her to carry on as you are.  I think you need to bite the bullet and come clean.   That will solve your problem without involving the police.

[jackthehat]

I don't think the police will do much, to be honest. They have other more pressing matters to attend to.

[Prudie]

You are now coming across as a bit unreal. Let's say it's yes and they can trace by fingerprints Dixon, then what if it is the woman you've had the affair with? What exactly do you expect should happen to her? And to your wife, hoping she'll sail on oblivious?

[New Judge]

"How can the police trace it?"

They can't

"Will they spend time and money doing fingerprints."

Why should they?

"Can they test the paper/envelope to see where it came from? Can they trace the stamp?"

Again, why should they? 

Your wife has received two letters providing her with information that by all accounts is substantially true. They contained no threats or demands. What offence do you suggest has been committed here that the police might investigate?

[Wuffles]

I don't know what offence it comes under. I just want her to leave us alone. So thought if another letter turned up and I took it to the police could it be traced and at least they can have a word with her

[barry1010]

You can't expect the police to sort your marriage problems out. There has been no crime.

You could think about taking out to stop her contacting your wife but they will backfire

[Tilly2]

Why don't you have a word with her?

[barry1010]

....taking out an injunction...

[douglas9401]

Hang around the front door and when postie appears, push the envelope.

[Khandro]

Hell hath no fury like a woman spurned. Go and see her and try to reason with her. 

[jackthehat]

Pinning your hopes on the Police intimidating this woman into silence is likely to fail.

As advised, she is not doing anything illegal no matter how uncomfortable you are finding it.

She may respond to you if you approach her to politely ask her to explain why she has suddenly decided to write these letters and to ask her to desist.

If that doesn't work, I rather think that telling your wife is the best option. 

Knowing that there is a potential hand-grenade in the vicinity of your marriage but not knowing when it is going to go off will take its' toll on you.

[Wuffles]

I really don't want to see her at all. I'm not 100% it's her but she's the most obvious candidate for this. hoping there won't be another letter 

[Ringlet]

This story reminds me of the old question - when you are standing up to your neck in horse poop, and someone throws dog poop at your head, should you duck?

[Peter Pedant]

but said they'd reopen it if another letter came. 

no that is not a lie - certainly not  in your category - but new evidence, new decision

this is to show there is no cognitive bias ( prejudice as in the common  sense of pe-judging).

so the sender says she will send more  letters to you long  suffering wife - unless, what?

or do you think she  will anyway ?

tell the wife, face the music, take the poonie

[Canary42]

Basically you want the police to coerce this woman into keeping quiet about your transgression.  I'm a bit surprised they haven't charged you with wasting their time.

[curlyfries81]

Doesn't your wife deserve the truth?

Grow a backbone and tell her and that will remove all power your stalker / blackmailer (who you feasibly shafted in more ways than one) has.

Stop putting yourself first. 

[1ozzy]

🥱 so sad, so sad, I nearly wept real tears for you.

[douglas9401]

You made a vow that you would ever be true
But somehow that vow meant nothing to you