teenagers & cannabis

[minibusman]

hi,
i have put lots of posts on her in the past about my daughter who has been seeing a boy that is realy no good (drink, drugs in trouble with the law, and the list goes on!!)
now my worst fears have been realised as she left a canabis grinder behind when she was babysitting last night (alone) for a friend of mine.....i want to know if there is any law about the use of cannabis in under 16 year olds... i mean smoking is supposed to be illegal for under 16's isnt it? but no one seems to do anything about it!!! i have decided to ring the police and hopefully if nothing else they will scare her for me but i know that her boyfriend uses it regulaly can anyone explain the law regarding this to me?? in english please ... after this shock my brain is not working !!
many thanks.....

[Vesper99]

Cannabis is an illegal drug at any age: the law on cigarette smoking/selling is not relevant.
Check out with your daughter what actually happened.
Do go to the police as you suggest.
Perhaps warn your daughter that her boyfriend could be charged withg supplying.
However, yuour real problem is not cannabis (which is pretty low on the scale of drugs) but your daughter's boyfriend. You will need to handle this very wisely.

[Reverandfunk]

Hi Minibus, the same thing happened to me a couple of years ago with my ex's daughter. She was going to a known "drug den" where crack was being used, reinforced doors, owner with a pitbull etc. She was 14 at the time, I rang the police and they basically laughed and said that unless SHE made a complaint there was nothing they could do so don'f hold your breath with regards to the police. Shocking as it sounds the way I dealt with her "boyfriend" was to arrange for a rather large gentleman to visit him one night and suggest that if he carried on seeing her he would be in considerable pain every time he went to the toilet. Not ideal but the only solution.

[minibusman]

if you have any suggestions on how to get rid of this low life scum i would be sooooo gratefull my husband, myself and even the police have not been able to split them up... she thinks its romeo and juliet!! thanks anyway ....

[Reverandfunk]

The way I suggested is crude but desperate situations require desperate measures. The more you try and split them up the more they will want to see each other.

[minibusman]

the thing about this family that he is from is that they are very well known to the law and so know all the loop holes and how to turn the tables ... meaning at one point we have even had the police around to our house because they felt threatend by us!!
so if any big gentlemen visited now we would be right in the frame !!!! they think of everything.....

[Reverandfunk]

Have you tried totally grounding her?

[minibusman]

yea.. she ran away... and gues where she ended up? we were just glad to get her back, and so did not involve the police that time... but the police have since told us that if she goes again, we must inform them, and if she is there they can put some sort of order on them against harbering her...

[IggyB]

whilst using cannabis isn't great - its surely not your worst fear... i think as you have said there isn't much you can do - just speak to her, instead of trying to get everything you want maybe you will have to settle for something of a compromise e.g. stop trying to split them up but ask her to respect your ground rules for their relationship - home by a certain time and no over night stays, this to be reviewed when she is 16 maybe (that will show that you are ready to negotiate and acknowledge she is growing up. Whilst you don't like this guy maybe if you also insisted that instead of going to his he come to your house you could at least keep an eye on them... when i was a kid my parents did up the spare room for me to use as a "hang out" with the friends and whilst they were not happy about people smoking or drinking they tolerated it (provided we weren't too obvious) as they preferred us to be in the house than out and about ... this worked quite well i think)

[Reverandfunk]

Cook his tea for him and offer to do his ironing as well! Bottom line is you are the parent and she is the child, she lives with you she lives by you're rules end of story, we tried the softly softly I'll be a nice new age parent and got walked all over, in the end I had to become an ogre with a stick and it did work.

[IggyB]

just think its hard to talk to an ogre with a stick - not saying softly softy but if she runs away for good then what have you achieved