Who Stays & Who Goes?

[KLAND]

I have just been through the worst few days of my life!

My marriage has been in difficulty due to money issues (his!) for a few months.

This weekend I found out that my husband has been 'seeing' another women for 6 weeks

He didnt like the fact that he had been rumbled and started being agressive, abusive, held my head back with my hair as he shouted at me and pinned me to the stairs by my throat.

He has threatened to chuck me out of the house when he comes back in Nov (he works away).

I have 2 small children and am not sure if he can do this. I have contacted a solicitor but have not had any response as yet

He just keeps saying that 'i pay half of the mortgage, so I can stay there'. Because he has become violent, is this right?

[lady_p_gold]

First of all, he can't throw you out. Secondly even if he is paying half the mortgage he cannot be violent to you, in fact there are powers that can make him have to leave the property although you may not want to go down that route. I suggest you contact the police and speak to the domestic violence co-ordinator or someone who can point you in the right direction. The fact is you may be able to stay in the house, and he will have to pay the mortgage, and that means all of it !

[lady_p_gold]

Stay in the house alone I mean, with the two children.

[anniebird]

Contact the Police immediately. You can get a Court Order banning him from the house and to stop him threatening you.

[meredith101]

contact the police. they will protect you from him but it is also now in your interests since it will limit his access to the house and the kids.

zero tolerance..

[Pragmatist]

Sorry - and I am sad to hear about your experience - this is not a simple one!! Yes if he has threatened or has been violent to you, you must contact the police. I do understand how hard that is! You unfortunately cannot exclude him - unless you have an injunction - and that you must obtain through a good solicitor dealing with domestic issues - if the solicitors you have approached has not got back to you by now they are junk - talk to other women(sorry I know you don't need everyone to know your business but it can help) (or find out where the local women's refuge is, or a helpline, as they will give you a good one!) unfortunately having an injunction means not a lot to many of our Police services - you have to prove you have been thumped(with the bruises) to obtain an 'injuction with power of arrest' and then the police will act. For the rest of it - they will treat it as 'just another domestic'!! Similarly he cannot remove you and if he attempts to with violence - I would suggest you have a friend as witness (so you can obtain the injunction - please I am not suggesting you put yourself up for a beating- protect yourself the best way you can). This is not an issue about money - it does not matter who pays what! - this is about the law and your family's protection and even if you contribute nothing (financially) to the household you have the right as a married woman to your residence, and he still must contribute/pay. ( the law also protects you if you have children and you are not married) - unfortunately it does for him also - what the court will look at primarily is the housing and safety of the children. And for that he has little chance! Hope this helps. Ann