Grave Headstone dispute

onemoredub | 15:33 Mon 05th Nov 2007 | Law

7 Answers

A bit of a long story, but basically my grandfather has a partner who basically split the family up. My grandfather passed away and he is buried in the partners already paid for grave plot. which we went along with as that is what he wanted. She wanted to arrange the headstone as she "didn't want the family to put any rubbish on it". Now, over 2 years later the headstone is finally in place, but there is absolutely no mention of the family, it just says 'forever in our hearts, 'partner's name' & 'partner's son's name' . She has intentionally left off the family and rubbed our noses in it. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what can be done? Do we have any legal right?

Drinking / Licensing Laws

is this fair

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VillageVicar

Where do you want the answer? Law or Family?

VillageVicar

who signed the contract for the funeral? Who paid for it? Was there a will specifically stating his wishes? Who contracted the headstone and who paid for it? How much financially did you contribute to the funeral or the headstone? Is this in a church cemetery or a council run cemetery? This will help in forming a more accurate reply.

Thank you

Fr Bill

onemoredub

Question Author

Sorry, wasn't sure which section would get the best response. Probably best in the law section.
The funeral was fully paid for by my grandad before he died so the family did not contribute anything towards it. The partner contracted the headstone and paid for it as the family were not allowed to, nor were the family consulted about what should go on it. The cemetry is council run.

Many thanks.

bigmamma

Hello , could you perhaps get a stonemason to make a flower block with your family names and sentiments on ,which can sit either in front of the headstone , or middle or foot of the grave ?

bigmamma

something like this , they come in black , white and most stone colours I believe .

http://www.copratec.co.uk/Images/014_vase_whit e.JPG

onemoredub

Question Author

Thanks bigmamma, thats an good idea. Thank you for your time in finding the picture. x

VillageVicar

Sorry, I must be quick as I have a funeral quite soon. Bigmamma, I think that's a lovely idea. However, family, please check with the cemetery first as it may not be permitted. Some council cemeteries prohibit more than one stone..be it a header or footer.

I'm afraid, under the circumstances, there is little you can do. Your grandfather did not make specific wishes. His partner, by our laws today, still would consider her in making decisions, especially if there were a will in place. Had it been in a church cemetery, there 'could' have been some other areas to consider.

May I offer this thought. Whilst I realise the absence of the words you want are distressing to you, the senitments you wish to share with your Grandfather do not go unnoticed. Speak to him, share your thoughts. Be there!

http://bigworldsmallboat.blogspot.com/search?q =as+long+as+we%27re+remembered

You are in my thoughts

Fr Bill

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