next of kin

[lisaloo1]

my grandma has 8 children, can anyone tell me who would be her next of kin ie closest blood relative,
thanx
lisa

[froggequene]

In terms of the children, provided s/he's competent to make decisions, the eldest.

[lisaloo1]

hi thanx for your reply, my grandma has vascular dementia so isnt capable, and im not sure where they stand

[tcc65]

There is really no such thing in law as next of kin, it would be who ever your Grandma wanted it to be when she was able to say so. Often hospitals will ask for NOK really they just want a named person to contact in the event of an emergency.
A person is able to pick who ever they would like to be their NOK it doesn't even have to be family, it could be a close friend.

When you say you are not sure where they stand what do you mean?

[lisaloo1]

my gran has 8 children and 1 of them doesnt talk to the rest and has put herself down as next of kin and if god forbid anything was to happen to grandma she might not let anyone know. I look after my gran most days and she goes down 3 hours a week and has listed herself as her carer too, its one big mess at the moment

[tcc65]

If you look after your Grandma every day then I was wondering how you would not know if something happened to her?
The other relative who has listed herself as a carer .......who has she informed that she is a carer? Are Social Services involved at all, does your Gran have any other support from anyone other than family?

[lisaloo1]

I mean if something happened in the night etc, my aunt has listed herself as appointee at the pensions office, carer at the pensions, social services, who we have tried to contact but will not discuss anything with us as we are not her carers. im not sure who else. ive spoken with the Alzheimer's Society and they are going to help us get the help we need for grandma, its also going through a solicitors as they have taken all her banking things and have her pension and attendance allowance paid into their bank account, which destresses grandma as she is still physically able to go collect her pension with someone herself like she has done for years and is struggling with not doing it now. i just feel that she should be able to keep life as normal as possible until she is no longer able to, but they seem to be taking away things that were her routine and life for years and that she feels important

[tcc65]

A person wll usually only have an appointee if they are unable even with support to manage their finances. You mention your Grandma having vascular dementia has this affected her ability to manage her own finances? If so this will be why your aunt has put herself forward as an appointee and it is possible for an appointee to have another persons money paid directly into their bank account. If your Grandma is still capable of managing her finances then she needs to contact the DWP and inform them she does want your aunt to act as her appointee.
When you contacted Social Services did you tell them that you provide care everyday for your Grandma, there is no reason why they should not talk to you, it's quite normal for there to be more than one family member providing support.
Is your Aunt by any chance claiming Carers Allowance, if she is only popping in for three hours a week she shouldn't be. But it may be worth you looking at it depending on the type of support your Grandma needs and how often and long you spend with her, you may qualify.
The most important thing is how does your Grandma feel about all of this. If it is making her feel unhappy then could she be supported to speak to Social Services, would she like you to be contacted should something happen to her ?Is she happy with your Aunt managing her money etc. If she is then her wishes will have to be respected.
A letter to social services highlighting your concerns is something worth thinking about. An advocate for your Grandma would be a really good idea , if she would like one .

[lisaloo1]

thanx so much tcc65 you have been a great help, i will try what you suggested
take care
lisa

[tcc65]

You're welcome Lisa good luck