bulling at work urgent help needed

[clairebear]

i have worked for the same company for 10 years and never had a problem until last january when a new manager started he took a instant dislike to me and started to bully me. i then fell pregnant and he got worst last june he launched a verbal attack on me when we were in a office on our own, he slamed his hands down and told me my work was sloppy and that i was not leaving the office till it was sorted he then put his hand against the door i had to ask him to let me out and that he was scaring me, i then told him i had a hospital appointment and he said i was lieing i showed him my appointment card to prove it i walked out crying.
i went straight to my midwife my babies heart beat had dropped due to the stress i was under and i was admited to hospital.
i filled a grievance against the mangager back in June 09.
I have only just heard off the comapny after all this time and i had to ask them ewhat was happening, i have been invited to a meeting with the manager in questions best friend !
the thought of seeing him agains scares me and makes me feel sick i have nightmares about this man and i feel so stressed what should i do ???

[woofgang]

Okay The first thing you need to do is get hold of a copy of your company's bullying and harassment policy. There should be in it a timescale for investigating grievance...it sounds like your company aren't following theirs as almost a year would be too long. At any meeting there should be a member of the HR department there, NEVER just you and one other person and proper notes should be taken which should be agreed by all parties as a true record of the meeting.
The less good news is that if you have no witness and no one else to say that he has behaved in the same way to them then your case is going to be very hard to prove.
Are you a member of a union? That can be helpful, also if you have a union rep in your workplace, even if you aren't a member they often will give advice/support.

[IggyB]

if you are a member of a union you should let them know as they may well send someone with you - alternatively you should bring someone with you who can support you, either emotionally (e.g. a friend) or legally (e.g. a solicitor) - don't be put of from choosing the latter, and even though it would cost you in the short term having expert legal advice before and during this meeting could not only send a clear message to the company but also save you from future problems, having them there while the meeting actually takes place could be invaluable rather than discussing it afterwards.

good luck

[clairebear]

hi not a member of a union and the letter states it needs to be a collegue or a union member someone from HR will be there but only as a note taker !

[Dodger666]

You don't say if you have you spoken to colleagues to see if the same manager is bullying them too?

[smart1]

Solicitors aren't allowed at these types of meetings, so best way would be to read up as much as you can on the subject of bullying in the workplace And if you know anyone who has any trade union experience, ask them to accompany you. I went through something similar 2 yrs ago, took out grievance etc - the ruling was there was insufficient evidence to prove bullying as there was only myself and the manager present during the incident. Maybe you could get a letter from your midwife explaining your health on the day of the incident, and take your appt card with you.
Good luck

[JackDanielsU]

Sorry if this come out harsh

The new manager starts in January 2009, and starts bullying you there and then, and it all ends in June that year when you filed the grievance.

Why that long, the HR dept should have been informed ages ago (March, April time)

Were any other colleagues bullied, or witnesses to any bullying by him on you?

If you didnt speak up before, it could look bad - his word vs yours, and if the rest of the employees think the sun shines out of his backside, thats not good either.

Also as other posters have mentioned only just hearing back from the company is worrying - rules havent been followed, which doesnt look good

Id have expected this to be have been sorted out by HR etc before Xmas

[Androcles]

There are a lot of things I don't quite understand about this. Are you on maternity leave at the moment, for example - you say "the thought of seeing him agains scares me and makes me feel sick i have nightmares about this man and i feel so stressed what should i do ?", which implies you have not seen him since June last year. Did you actually go bck to work after your admission to hospital? Were you off sick before you went onto maternity leave?

The painful question also needs to be asked. While it does not excuse bullying, was your performance below standard? Was any disciplinary action instituted against you for this? HAve any other complaints been made against him and how are your colleagues feeling about this?

I think we need some more information, if people are to give you decent advice.

[clairebear]

hi just to clarify i raised the grievance back in June last year and my HR department have not acted upon it, and in answer to other questions after i was addmited into hospiatal my |GP signed me off with stress so didnt go back into work. No one eles in the office is willing to stand up to this bully as they are scared of him ! and yes i am still on mat leave till 6th april

[Androcles]

It may well be that your HR dept has not acted on it as you were signed off with stress, and then away on maternity leave. I suspect in these circumstances ,they were being wary because had they done anything you could have alleged they were hounding you whilst you were off with stress.

You also did not answer my question about your performance; despite your manager taking a bullying approach according to your allegation. Was it substandard and were you off because you could see a disciplinary interview coming up? This may not be the case, but if it was, you would not be the first person to duck out of the way like this and use your absence to avoid the issue.

In the circumstances, I do not think you have any choice but to face up to it and as others have said go in for the grievance hearing, and take a representative with you. You say it is with the manager's "best friend", but that an HR rep will be there. The Company is entitled to nominate whoever they want to deal with this and you need to consult the company's grievance procedure to see what the next stage is after this, if you are not satisfied with the decision reached. You have better face up also that they may be two issues here, firstly your grievance about being bullied by the manager and if you can prove this, and secondly, there may be a separate issue around your performance. This should be raised as a separate matter by the company.

[clairebear]

i answer to your questions my work has always been of a high standard and my previous manager has never had a problem with me, the manager in question is just a bully and always moved the goal posts when i came to work and targets, he does the same to other people in the office but everyone is scared of this bully. There was never any question of a disciplinary where my work was concerned. Also i saw him in my local town a few weeks ago and tried to say hello to him he ignored me, i don't know if i am upto going to the grievance meeting it is all too much for me, i have always loved my job and my work colleagues but don't know how i can possibly return

[evedawn]

Take a calm but assertive friend in with you. Or better yet - ring ACAS and ask for assistance.NEVER attend byy ourself and ask for written transcript of what transpires in the meeting. Feel free to take notes during the process and do not feel obligated to admit to anything.

[clairebear]

has anyone eles been through this process ???

[smart1]

See my earlier reply above