What's the worst film you've ever seen?

[Backdrifter]

For me - Even Cowgirls Get The Blues.

A tedious, directionless load of ooh-aren't-we-weird-and-whacky tosh.

Closely followed by:

Pretty Woman
Mission Impossible 2
Crocodile Dundee 2
Practical Magic (not even being in love with Nicole Kidman could rescue it)
The Passenger
Little Voice

[Backdrifter]

Izzy - R&J, good call - can't bear the story, Lurman, or Shakespeare on film generally, let alone this cringe-inducing take on it.

wonderwoman1 I think I love you!

purple, Eyes Wide is terrible but for me it falls into that category I usually find very dubious, "so bad it's funny". Plus of course it has lots of NK on show.

[spanner7853]

ward minter. I watched clockwork orange for the first time lately and thought- what was that all about. totally weird
momento-didnt have a clue about that what so ever.

[sp1814]

andy-hughes

You've restored my faith in humankind.

I thought I was the only one who couldn't get past the first ten minutes of 'Moulin Rouge'.

I got bought it on DVD, and have only ever managed to get up to the Kylie Minogue bit...and that's only because I like Kylie Minogue.

I also have to hold my hand up and say that I hate practically every film ever made by Nicholas Cage.

Oh, and The Chronicles Of Narnia was so bad that I actually left the cinema in a bad mood which lasted until the middle of the next day.

True.

[Backdrifter]

sp1814, I join with you & andy re Moulin R. That Lurman again... It was like an annoying, shrieking, melodramatically flamboyant person that you can't make shut up.

Even the lure of NK looking terrific couldn't save it.

[robbo82]

I'm going to start off with a couple of big hitters:

2001: A Space Odyssey
The Shining

Both are far inferior than the novels they are based on.

Also: The Matrix 2 and 3
Spawn
Kingdom of Heaven
Audition

[China Doll]

Oh goody, I'll continue then as of course managed to think of more as soon as I hit 'submit.' (Will take the hug as well for Bridget Jones too, Pride & Prejudice for the modern day my ar$e... Austen would turn in her grave).

Your mates description of Darko is pretty spot on for Mullholland too actually.

Deep Blue Sea
Bond Movies (Seen one, seen 'em all)
Cruel Intentions (Wasn't this based on another film with Michelle Phieffer and the bird from the Worst Witch... if so, that version was miles better)
Eyes Wide Shut
Emma (Paltro as Emma? What the f�ck?)
The Fantastic 4
Pirates of C 2 (Only saved by my love for Jonny in eyeliner)
Forest Gump
That one where he's stuck on a desert Island
Sleepless in Seattle
You have Mail
Godzilla
Kes (Think that's the one about the falcon)

Phew... thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I feel clensed now xx

[China Doll]

Oooh... and one more

Hanibal. (They changed the ending completely from the book and there was nowt wrong with the books ending. Ruined the film for me.)

[unruliejulie]

there are 2 which stand out in my memory not so much bad but just unfathomable!!!! the unbearable likeness of being which i accidentally went to see at the piccys on a date when i was 19 and the other was Magnolia with Tom Cruise. i couldn't make out WHAT was going on in that! rubbish!

[Backdrifter]

SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE!

Of course. Thank you. Someone once called me 'hard-hearted' for not liking that film. It's one of the most emotionless, manipulative films ever! Absolutely revolting. And Meg Ryan's rubbish anyway.

Yes, Cruel Intentions was based on Dangerous Liaisons, itself based on Les Liaisons Dangereuse. Didn't go for brunette Buffy then? Shame that the hair colour didn't affect her speaking through her nose.

I didn't mind either Emma or Paltrow, but on balance would probably prefer Clueless, its 90s LA high-school update - terrific film.

To be honest, Hannibal the book deserves everything it gets in that rotten film. When I read the book with mounting disbelief, I just could not accept the same bloke who'd written Red Dragon could turn out a sloshing bucket of loose stool water like this.

[Backdrifter]

julie, interesting - does finding them unfathomable make them the worst films you've seen? Aren't there films you've seen that you did understand, but still found them among the worst ever?

[jedimistress]

The usual...Titanic...new Star Wars.

The Descent was a waste my most recent waste of a cinema ticket. Anything with Tom Cruise makes me feel ill.

This made me laugh

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi? u=five_******_movies

I'm also a fan of Nicholas Cage. I'll watch anything of his. Lord of War was wonderful.

[NJOK]

China, I agree - Bond films can be dire. But some stand out as being particularly bad. Live & Let Die, for example, is just woeful and could have been knocked out in someone's lunch hour.

Sliding Doors gets my goat in a big way. The scene where John Hannah is amusing his mates by doing Monty Python impressions is excrutiating.

[spanner7853]

I forgot the batman films. cheesy as hell
Sin city- biggest load of crap on the planet.
Nightmare on elm street 2 to 10000

I'll have another think and come back again later.

[jedimistress]

Oh dear it did not post the exact link, but it comes under the header 5 worst movies about half way down updated 06/16/04.

It's so funny....to me anyway.

[pingping]

Alexander the Great (the Colin Farrell version). OMG this was truly awful. this is the only film I have ever walked out of, and I would have done so 2hrs 40 minutes earlier if my sister had let me (she got free tickets in order to write a review for a magazine - usually a good perk of her job).

the accents were diabolical, the acting was diabolical, the script was.... you get the idea.

[*ALFIE*]

Time Machine - even Samantha Mumba's body couldn't save it ! Constantine - what on earth was that about ! Harry Potter - I prefer Lord of the rings..

[lankeela]

Bridget Jones Diary (was it supposed to be funny?)
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (walked out half way through)
Anything with Hugh Grant in it playing Hugh Grant
Anything with James Nesbitt in it ( I think you know where this is going...

Love Story

[NJOK]

I didn't rate I Heart Huckabees either. It was VERY pleased with itself.

[China Doll]

Hard hearted for not liking that film... more like someone with an ounce of a brain. Manipulative drivel.

Think it would be very hard to make a decent version of Emma in all fairness as the book is really quite complex in it's meanings. It's hard to get all aspects in to a film. And I just don't rate Paltrow to be honest.

Cruel Intentions - Watered down titilation for teenagers.

Do agree to an extent with your Hanibal analysis... but there was still no reason to change the ending.

Wardy - I stand by it, Bond is utter Tosh. However I agree with you about Nicolas Cage.