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Emmerdale & Coronation Street

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jaynethepain | 08:27 Wed 19th Aug 2009 | Film, Media & TV
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I've been away sine 20 July and therefore missed a whole month of my two favourite soaps. Didn't record them - thought I'd have too much washing to do and I was right - so am now asking if anyone could PLEASE be bothered to give me a very short run-down on what's happened? I know this is asking an awful lot but thanks to anyone in advance who is half as stupid as me!
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Why not just use the previous episodes/catch up pages for them on :-

www.itv.com

?
Joe is a junkie
Gary is inside
David is still mad
Gail is still stupid
Fizz is engaged to a jailbird
Becky is married
Molly is still making cow eyes at Kevin
Kevin is still lusting after Molly
Tony and Maria have finally got it together.
Rita is still wearing that awful orange wig.
Norris's brother accidentally smashed Norris's cup.
Liz MacDonald has ended it with the taxi driver.
Jim MacDonald made an appearance at Steve's wedding, to be sure, to be sure, so he did. And he didn't punch anyone's lights out either.
Anyhoo jayne ..... Down to the important stuff ..... Where have you been for a month? Cruising the Caribbean? Skiing on the slopes? Sizzling in the South of France? Or caravanning in Cleethorpes?

I take it you haven't been baring all on Brighton beach or you wouldn't have all that washing to do. [:o)
A new family has moved into the Farm, Mum, (Hunky)Dad, dopey son, a daughter who fancies Andy Sugden, another daughter who fancies herself.
Val and Eric are getting divorced because Val thought Diane was getting too friendly with Rodney, so decided to get friendly with him herself.
Lily has riden off into the sunset with an ageing biker with a tooth problem.
Lexi had an ectopic pregnancy and lost the baby. Carl wasn't too unhappy about this.
Nicola went into labour in the farm shop, dropped and broke her phone and was writhing all over the floor and why she couldn't reach the door is anyone's guess, anyone would have thought she was giving birth to an open umbrella the racket and fuss she was making!!
Gennie has a boyfriend in Brighton.
Debbie has a boyfriend who is a fridge magnate (not fridge magnet)
and Cain has found out where Lisa keeps her shampoo and has finally washed his hair!
Lexi then went a bit loopy and decide to show Nicola's baby the world and ended up on the roof of the hospital. How did they all know she had gone up there? anyway, they all had a shouting match without any hospital staff knowing about it, lexi handed over the baby, Carl told lexi he had never loved her and only married her because he was scared she was going to say something about him killing his Dad.
She has now gone to Canada to see her Mum.
The baby is called Angelica (Which I thought was some sort of cake decoration) and now that Carl is free, Paddy and Chas are arguing because he thinks Carl will now be chasing Chas, but she says No.

We will see, we will see.....................
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Thank you, thank you, thank you all you wonderful people! Wonderful answers, I can watch Coro tonight, knowing a bit more - is it on tonight? I heard in prison - oops sorry in the Caribbean - that its been changed?
Corrie Wednesdays ep is on Thursday at 20:30
Emmerdales Tuesday 1 hr is now on ThursdAY BUT SPLIT (ie
19:00 30 min & 20:00 30 min) just so more football on Wednesdays

And whats tonights - 2 foreign teams ?????
Kevin was enjoying checking out Mollie's bodywork until Tyrone threw a spanner in the works by whisking Mollie off to Tenerife.

Sal's gonna blow a gasket when she finds out.

Meanwhile back at the butchers ...... Ashley went for the snip but changed his mind at the last minute and left with his meat and two veg intact. He hasn't told Clare and she thinks that's the reason why he doesn't want to play hide the sausage. He's scared to tell her he's still firing from both barrels.

Talking about barrels .... back at the Rovers, Betty Terrapin has flipped her lid and poisoned the hotpot. Next week all the regulars will start dying, one by one.

(I'm fibbing about Betty. Good idea though eh? Think it's time they gave the old lass a storyline).

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