My grandma and grandad had been together for well over 30 years, they lived on a farm with their son. My grandma barely did any work on the farm, had anything to do with the bills, she was your typical farmers wife, cook the food etc. When my grandad died, it was a major shock and very unexpected, my grandad would be the one who would get up at 5am every morning to milk the cows, and over night my uncle had to learn how to milk the cows etc. But when something like that happens, you know things arent going to change and you have to get through things, and most people are surprised at how people cope with bereavement.
As Mrs O said, I wouldnt worry about it too much, cos as she said it will become an obsession.