Despite what you say NJ - and we have discussed this very point before - it was made perfectly plain in Parliament last week that only the Scots WILL participate in the referendum, when and if it is ever held.
The Secretary of State for Scotland said early in his speech that the decision will be made "IN Scotland by the people OF Scotland". Later in the following debate, an English MP asked, "When will the English finally get a say over the future of the Union?" The Secretary of State replied (and this is verbatim), "As far as who decides this issue, I think it's important that the people of Scotland get to decide THEIR place in the United Kingdom."
(I put the word, 'their', in upper case because he did emphasise it.)
It is not yet totally clear precisely what "the people of Scotland" means, but it seems certain to be - as I claimed in our past debate - the people whose names are on one or another electoral register in Scotland. It won't be open to people like me, for example, a Scot but long resident furth the borders.
As for whether Scotland could do this alone regardless, of the views of the English, Welsh and Northern Irish, I refer you to the Unilateral Declaration of Independence in Rhodesia in 1965. The Rhodesians were told they "couldn't" do such a thing but they did it anyway and eventually the world simply accepted things as they actually were. Basically, you can't just keep people involved in a political union if they choose to have nothing more to do with it. In addition, several central European countries split up in recent times, allowing the different parts to go their own way.
I think you can all count on NOT being consulted in this matter and rightly so.