Times change, and we with them, aog. You'll have to adjust your vocabulary and usage to suit. When you are in truly liberated society, as with feminist academics in Cambridge, you too may find yourself asking a mother who has just told you her daughter is engaged "Is that to a man or a woman?". I did. and the answer was " A woman, nice girl" Somehow, I wasn't surprised, though I didn't know the daughter or anything about her sexuality.
Cambridge is a city that once had a mayor and mayoress, a couple, neither of whom was of the same sex as they were born with. That's the kind of place it is.