Crosswords1 min ago
A Lesson Not Learnt
Jeremy Forrest mouthing I LOVE YOU in court to the underage pupil he had an affair and absconded to France with shows he either doesn't appreciate what he's done wrong or doesn't care. So IMO he deserves a very long sentence until at the very least he gets it into his thick head why such a relationship is wrong. The fact that the girl apparently responded the same way, also apologising and pledging to wait til he's free is not such a concern as she is an infatuated child. By the time Forrest gets out she may well have moved on, though if she is allowed to visit him in jail that will perpetuate an illicit romance for the Media. I've also been disturbed by glowing references Forrests fellow teachers gave to help his case, which surely condone his actions and therefore also make those teachers unsuitable for their jobs. Surely Forrest should never be allowed anywhere near a school again. what do you think?
Answers
All those trying to mitigate Forrest's actions by blaming the parenting, the school, anyone else or any organisation are shooting themselves in the foot! In doing so they admit this man's grotesque guilt, and they should applaud the court's findings. For an adult man, teacher or not, to "fall in love" with a 14-15 year-old girl is a danger to society if that...
20:05 Fri 21st Jun 2013
Ellipsis, not necessarily - but then I would hope I knew my daughter and what she was doing rather better than these parents appear to know theirs.
solvitquick, I'm not a do-gooder. I simply do not believe that this man is a paedophile or an abductor. I think he stupidly allowed his emotions to get the better of him - that's all.
solvitquick, I'm not a do-gooder. I simply do not believe that this man is a paedophile or an abductor. I think he stupidly allowed his emotions to get the better of him - that's all.
andy-hughes
If one reads through your latest post, one can see reason within it, except of course your reference to taking the "CHILD" abroad, who later you more fittingly described as a teenager.
So yes there is plenty of intelligent reasoning to your post, but only in the cold light of day, the benefit of foresight, and with you not personally involved in the affair, but how can we possibly take into account human weaknesses?
You say that /// This is done simply by establishing some basic ground rules, and arranging a professional distance between both parties - which the majority of teachers in secondary schools manage to achieve on a daily
basis. ///
How can anyone possibly know this, all we know that it has happened at least once and we know that because in this instance the teacher was caught, but there must be many such cases whereas the girl (who these days can be very mature) sets her stall out to attract the teacher of her dreams, it only takes for a teacher to succumb to her and we finish in a situation such as this, and then as in any human relationship the age gap doesn't seem all that important.
So ignoring the fact that he committed a crime against a juvenile, broke his teacher/pupil relationship, and of course abducted the girl abroad, just consider it was a two way thing, and that the teacher is not the only one solely responsible, and yes he could have rejected her advances but who knows what pressure she put on him?
Just remember Andy in one's lifetime we all come up to situations where we have to make a decision, sometimes we get it right but other times we can get it wrong, in this case the teacher got it wrong, but then he is only human with human weaknesses.
If one reads through your latest post, one can see reason within it, except of course your reference to taking the "CHILD" abroad, who later you more fittingly described as a teenager.
So yes there is plenty of intelligent reasoning to your post, but only in the cold light of day, the benefit of foresight, and with you not personally involved in the affair, but how can we possibly take into account human weaknesses?
You say that /// This is done simply by establishing some basic ground rules, and arranging a professional distance between both parties - which the majority of teachers in secondary schools manage to achieve on a daily
basis. ///
How can anyone possibly know this, all we know that it has happened at least once and we know that because in this instance the teacher was caught, but there must be many such cases whereas the girl (who these days can be very mature) sets her stall out to attract the teacher of her dreams, it only takes for a teacher to succumb to her and we finish in a situation such as this, and then as in any human relationship the age gap doesn't seem all that important.
So ignoring the fact that he committed a crime against a juvenile, broke his teacher/pupil relationship, and of course abducted the girl abroad, just consider it was a two way thing, and that the teacher is not the only one solely responsible, and yes he could have rejected her advances but who knows what pressure she put on him?
Just remember Andy in one's lifetime we all come up to situations where we have to make a decision, sometimes we get it right but other times we can get it wrong, in this case the teacher got it wrong, but then he is only human with human weaknesses.
According to press reports she did not live with her mother, she lived with her stepfather who is separated from her mother, perhaps she sought a better life with the schoolteacher.
/// The daughter I knew is dead' and they were now estranged. 'Somehow that is all my fault, she thinks she cannot trust me again and she has gone to live elsewhere. I feel like the worst mother in the world,' ///
/// The daughter I knew is dead' and they were now estranged. 'Somehow that is all my fault, she thinks she cannot trust me again and she has gone to live elsewhere. I feel like the worst mother in the world,' ///
AOG - I admire your persistence in trying to reason out this teacher's inappropriate responses to a potentially dangerous relationship, but in my view, it remains his responsibility.
As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, as a non-professional counsellor, I have encountered exactly the same situation more than once - although only with mature adults. Specifically i refer back to the situation where a feeling of dependency and support can tip into a perception of sexual attraction, which seems very real at the time.
My response was always to report the first instance to my immediate superior and if and when I felt it was not managable, I asked to be removed from my role with that particular individual.
You do not need to be anywhere near the level of intimacy that this teacher reached in order to know that the relationship is moving into an inapproriate area which requires immediate monitoring and careful handling.
The failure to recognise and act on the first hints of an inappropriate turn in his relationship with this pupil is entirely Forest's responsibility. He was an experienced teacher with an assumed level of maturity and responsibility, to say nothing of pastoral care and support, and he manifestly failed in that responsibility, and that is the root and branch of his crime.
Not for him the defence of temptation, or pressure - both should have been noted, assessed and dealt with long before he reached a level of intimacy that transpired.
A dependent pupil with an eating disorder is not an individual with whom any teacher should consider any relationship beyound that of teacher / pupil, and the fact that he pursued it is entirely down to him, and he is rightly being punished for it.
The judge is clear in his approach - that Forest used and abused his position of care and trust, and that is a fact which cannot be ignored when considering his subsequent behaviour.
As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, as a non-professional counsellor, I have encountered exactly the same situation more than once - although only with mature adults. Specifically i refer back to the situation where a feeling of dependency and support can tip into a perception of sexual attraction, which seems very real at the time.
My response was always to report the first instance to my immediate superior and if and when I felt it was not managable, I asked to be removed from my role with that particular individual.
You do not need to be anywhere near the level of intimacy that this teacher reached in order to know that the relationship is moving into an inapproriate area which requires immediate monitoring and careful handling.
The failure to recognise and act on the first hints of an inappropriate turn in his relationship with this pupil is entirely Forest's responsibility. He was an experienced teacher with an assumed level of maturity and responsibility, to say nothing of pastoral care and support, and he manifestly failed in that responsibility, and that is the root and branch of his crime.
Not for him the defence of temptation, or pressure - both should have been noted, assessed and dealt with long before he reached a level of intimacy that transpired.
A dependent pupil with an eating disorder is not an individual with whom any teacher should consider any relationship beyound that of teacher / pupil, and the fact that he pursued it is entirely down to him, and he is rightly being punished for it.
The judge is clear in his approach - that Forest used and abused his position of care and trust, and that is a fact which cannot be ignored when considering his subsequent behaviour.
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