Nigella Lawson

[andy-hughes]

Given that Charles Saatchi is digging an even bigger hole for himself by trying to pass off assaulting his wife as simply attending to her personal appearence -

What would you do if your partner decided to do the same thing in a public place?

For the record, the present Mrs Hughes would have brained me with the nearest blunt object - but personally, i would not dream of invading her personal space in such a manner - in public or in private.

What do you think?

[rockyracoon]

It's only just happened Octavius, she may not want to share just yet, if at all.

[andy-hughes]

Octavius - there are some debates that require a little levity and bawdy sarcasm, and there are some that concern the serious issue of spousal abuse, where humour is misplaced.

Guess which this one is?

[friedgreentomato]

Hubby pulls my nose when I am being extremely annoying (I know I know that must be a lot)

But he would never 'correct' my appearance by touching me - he would say 'love you have a bogie hanging down'

[Bbbananas]

After having had first hand experience of domestic violence, if my present partner did any of those things to me - I'd be off.

Once bitten...

[Octavius]

But she has massive support rocky, her website traffice doubled ovenight and people worldwide are cooking her recipes in her honour. I supose the media-frnzy would be offputting, but she knows it could be a useful soundboard for a lot of abused women.

[Ellipsis]

The shame of it is that his brother Maurice Saatchi recently spoke quite movingly of the pain he is enduring following the death of his wife Josephine. Maurice sets a fine example. Charles ... doesn't.

[jno]

she stayed with him, presumably unperturbed, for a week after this happened, leaving only when it appeared in the papers. So I suspect there's more to this than we know. While I do not personally pick my OH's nose, others may do so with their spouses. We never know much about others' relationships, and drawing conclusions from a few moments overseen or overheard can be rash.

[2sp_]

Octavius, she doesn't have to discuss this business in public, or become the poster girl for domestic abuse.

Maybe she wants to deal with this in private, hopefully by quietly divorcing the scumbag and moving on with her life.

[FredPuli43]

It takes something like this, with all the public comment and the humiliation of the events being in public , to make her take stock . She is probably in an abusive relationship but , like so many, hasn't seen it for what it is. She has been inclined to say that he can be a bit volcanic. And he probably says that they love each other and have each other, and that's all they need....and all the other utterances that abusive men make. It was telling that , explaining her absence, he said that he "told" her to leave, not "we agreed" or "I suggested".

In my case, if I'd tried that , I'm sure I'd have received violence in reply but the question is academic. I can't see myself ever doing it.

[ummmm]

jno is correct. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

From this one incident everyone is presuming that she is the victim of domestic abuse. What does anyone know for fact? How do any of you know that she doesn't abuse him behind closed doors?

[naomi24]

Andy, //the invasion and its action are one and the same //

I disagree. Being shoved, or being threatened with a fist are both an invasion of space - and neither is good - but not nearly as humiliating as having someone grab your nose and hang on pulling and twisting. That's mortifying!

[FredPuli43]

If she abuses him behind closed doors he wouldn't be minded, or dare, to do that in public. It's the sheer confidence that he displays that tells us that he is like that at home.

[Octavius]

Ummm, his ex wife has defended him saying he was never abusive in their 11 year marriage.

[society]

Charles Saatchi displayed bullish actions in public to his wife, can you imagine how aggressive this person might be out of the public's view. He's an embarrassment to her IMO.

[ummmm]

You have to know the ins and outs of a relationship before judgement can be passed.

[FredPuli43]

We note that his ex-wife divorced him on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour. Now, what was that? Did she explain how it was not, in her terms, abusive?

[society]

Matters not what the ins and outs are, no reason to be disrespectful and humiliating to wife-y, especially in public.

[Ann]

Who would just sit there and let their husband pick their nose in public - and not even their own! Nice! :(

[Octavius]

Fred, apparently he worked and travelled too much and left her feeling isolated.

"[she] spent her 40th birthday alone and often felt isolated in the final years of the relationship."

[ludwig]

// While I do not personally pick my OH's nose, others may do so with their spouses //

She doesn't look happy about it in the pictures. She looks frightened and humiliated.

The fact she stayed with him for a week afterwards is disturbing, because it suggests to me that this wasn't the first time, but something she'd learnt to tolerate and keep quiet about, through fear, shame or whatever.
When the story broke, that could have been the watershed moment that made her realise the situation couldn't go on, because the genie was out of the bottle as it were.