Are The Parents Of This 16 Year Old Being Far Too Tolerant?

[anotheoldgit]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2565640/So-let-YOUR-16-year-old-marry-barman-met-holiday-These-parents-did-tearing-family-apart.html

[pixie373]

She's old enough to get married. If it was my daughter, i would be upset she was moving abroad- that is a big step. Whether i would or could prevent her- it would depend.

[mikey4444]

If neither of them can speak each others language, I'm amazed that they had any relationship at all, apart from sex. Daft girl and even dafter parents if you ask me !

[boxtops]

Hard to say, until you're in the situation, but my thoughts are

a. She's left school and a further education course due to bullying. I wonder what that's about? it seems very hard luck to be bullied in two separate settings, unless she's particularly sensitive, and the parents obviously supported the withdrawals since they home schooled her.
b. She's 16 - I think that's too soon, especially since she might be being expected to move home to a foreign culture.
c. The boy has a practising Muslim family - no problem in that, but Turkey seems to be in a mixed place about the place of Muslim women in their society - some are liberal, some are definitely not.
d. Is there any chance he's marrying her to get into the UK? Cynical, I know...

On balance, I wouldn't allow it. She's no training in a career to support her if it all goes pearshaped. Her family sound as if they are pandering to her whims all the time. I might be 100% wrong, but that's how it sounds to me. Let her go back to college in the UK, get some qualifications, keep in touch with the lad for a couple of years, and see how it goes.

[zebo]

The parents are on a hiding to nothing. If/when it all goes pear-shaped, she'll blame them for letting her marry him, if they try and stop her from going, she'll hate them.

[mikey4444]

Her parents should kick her out and let her get on with it.

[andres]

Only time will tell!

[Brenden]

Stupid parents, most of these marriages involve getting a uk visa eventually.

[boxtops]

t's crazy that the wedding is taking place in August before he goes on National Service - far better to wait until he's demobbed, rather than rush everything through.

[aelmpvw]

the circumstances are irrelevant, the chances of a marriage lasting when a sixteen year old is involved are miniscule

[Gromit]

The age of consent in Turkey is 18 and sex with a minor is considered rape. They are getting stricter at enforcing it.

At the other end of the scale, when I was in Turkey last May, a 67 year old British woman was in a relationship with a 17 year old barman. 

The truth is, many British women fall for the charms of Turkish barmen. The  men see marriage to a British woman as an escape route to the UK.

// Police are investigating claims that a 14-year-old girl has run away to Turkey and married a barman she met on holiday.
Rachel Lloyd, from Wrexham, north Wales, is believed to have left her home and travelled to the resort of Marmaris to marry Mehmet Ocack, 24, despite being below the legal age of consent. //

http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2002/dec/13/turkey.world

// Engin Temizer was a local barman, serving guests cool drinks with suave lines of broken English in her hotel.

She was 39 and he was 17. A long-term romance you’d imagine to be ­inconceivable – at the very least to Tracey ­herself. //

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/i-fell-in-love-with-a-turkish-waiter-1136884#ixzz2u8t8IXLK

[boxtops]

Interesting it's being reported in the DM - I wonder who contacted them, then?

[Gromit]

They parents seem to let her drink and smoke at 16, so why not let her f*ck a waiter?

[Brenden]

Well that is putting it bluntly gromit - no grey area there.lol

[sandyRoe]

Will she stay with him in Turkey or will they build a new life together in the UK?

[pixie373]

Neither, sandy. She'll be back home with her parents within 8 months.

[emmie]

far too tolerant, but as others have said they are on a hiding to nothing, just be there for her when if it all goes belly up.

[anotheoldgit]

boxtops

/// Interesting it's being reported in the DM - I wonder who contacted them, then? ///

From reading the report it would seem that it was her parents, perhaps they need some cash for her dowry.

[anotheoldgit]

emmie

/// far too tolerant, but as others have said they are on a hiding to nothing, just be there for her when if it all goes belly up. ///

Perhaps that will be too late, better to nip it in the bud now.

[pixie373]

Too late for what?

[emmie]

you can't, she is 16 which i believe is our age of consent, so can legally have sex, as to marry, no idea, if she gets married in Turkey, won't that be a different matter.