Judy Finnigan

[Deskdiary]

When I saw the headlines this morning I had a sharp intake of breath - surely a woman wouldn't 'excuse' rape?

However, having now seen a transcript, what she actually said was (lifted from the BBC website);

"If he does go back, he will have to brave an awful lot of comments," said Finnigan during her debut appearance on the lunchtime programme.

"But, having said that, he has served his time, he's served two years.

"The rape - and I am not, please, by any means minimising any kind of rape - but the rape was not violent, he didn't cause any bodily harm to the person.

"It was unpleasant, in a hotel room I believe, and she [the victim] had far too much to drink.

"That is reprehensible but he has been convicted and he has served his time."

Ultimately she's right, isn't she?

As unpleasant as this man is, he has served his time, and therefore shouldn't he be allowed to continue to pursure his chosen career?

[ladybirder]

We don't need a two tier system surely? A judge will have considered the degree of violence/aggravation etc and this will be reflected in the sentence.

[DTCwordfan]

On the subject of this thread, he has served his time and that's true for any rapist who completes his/her sentence and satisfies the parole board as to remorse and treatment, if the sentence has been life (for the more intense attacks)...... In many cases, the sentence does not end as there will be a SOBO put in place, a restraint order on the rapist, particularly where there is infatuation/stalking involved.

In this one, I am at odds I must say why one gets committed, the other gets off but I come back to the evidence presented. Now what happens to him, yes he is at liberty to pursue his own career - if[i he can find a club in this country and [i] if] he satisfies the PFA and FA as I believe there are standards/expectations of behaviour insisted on as to being called a professional. He probably though could restart his career in Serbia, Albania or other 'dodgy' footballing nations....

[naomi24]

Slapshot, //if she says it wasn't consensual, it's rape, the law says that's the end of that discussion.//

That’s assuming she’s telling the truth – and there are plenty who don’t, which is what worries me most. In this case she says she can’t remember what happened, nevertheless the court has decided she was raped. Innocent men have been hanged in error.

[pixie373]

I haven't said anything about the other ABers sqad. I said "like" not "only". I am not naive on this. I've had both.

[Svejk]

I specifically said 'nothing to do with anyone on AB'. Perhaps when you say things like that you mean the opposite. but I don't, I say what I mean and mean what I say.

[mrs.chappie]

Sorry Gness, and anyone else with the same opinion, but for me there is definitely a greater and lesser degree of rape.

At the age of 16 I was walking home from the bus stop after a night out. As I passed a metal gate, a man pushed me from behind, over the gate and onto a grassy area running alongside a drain.

The fear uppermost in my mind was not the thought of being raped, but 'Is he going to kill me? Will I end up in that drain? If I struggle, will we both end up in the drain, and it'll be curtains for both of us?'

That fear was far greater than what was physically happening.

Now, had I met a man in a bar, chatted to him a while and agreed to go back to his hotel room of my own free will, I think I'd feel fairly confident that he wasn't going to kill me, should he decide to force himself upon me.

Of course that doesn't make it right, absolutely not....but nowhere near as bad as fearing that you're not going to get out of it alive.

[gness]

I just see it as two different things, MrsC...assault is one...rape is the other....

I had no fear that I would die.....but I don't think that makes rape less serious...x

[pixie373]

They are separate, gness. Even in law. There's always a certain amount of force- but some is counted as "necessary" for rape- and then assault is extra to that.

[kvalidir]

Rape is ALWAYS wrong but here is an imaginary choice you have to make.

a. Be raped in a hotel room by a man who you are already acquainted with.

b. Be attacked in the dark, beaten, raped and threatened by an unknown assailant.

I seriously doubt you will get many people opt for B.

[mrs.chappie]

Yes Gness, I agree, but I think a degree of common sense has to play its part. A woman can safeguard herself against 'hotel room rape' by not going back to a hotel with a fella she's just met. Whichever way I look at it, that's just plain daft.

[mrs.chappie]

^^^Oops, sorry, there was only Gness there when I started typing.

[gness]

That's how I see it, Pixie....in my case there wasn't even force.... but I was unable to prevent it....

I have remembered something now that I had put into the furthest part of my mind.....and it was a day I was very very scared and confused.....so I'm leaving this thread now.....

Posting from experience isn't always such a good thing is it.....

[pixie373]

No xx

[horseshoes]

Luxury hotel???......... Premier Inn!

[andy-hughes]

kvalidir - "Rape is ALWAYS wrong but here is an imaginary choice you have to make.

a. Be raped in a hotel room by a man who you are already acquainted with.

b. Be attacked in the dark, beaten, raped and threatened by an unknown assailant.

I seriously doubt you will get many people opt for B."

That is one of the most ludicrous posts I have ever seen on this site - and that takes some doing!

Do you really think you can reduce a debate about something as serious as rape to a mutiple choice questionaire?

It beggars belief that you think that anyone cynical enough to answer your reupgnant 'quiz' with the 'softer' option means that their rape will be less traumatic and damaging in the short and long term.

OK, using your twisted logic, here's a 'questionaire for you' -

Would you rather -

a) have your genitals removed under a general anesthetic by a surgeon who you know,

or

b) have them cut off with a rusty tin lid by a sadistic mugger in an alley.

I know which I'd prefer (ha ha ha!)

Would you like to think about your post and consider some ammendments - like a retraction and an apology?

[janbee]

Well said Andy. xx

[andy-hughes]

Thanks janbee.

I am aware that my views have not always chimed with others on the AB, but I willl be amazed if kvalidir's neanderthal approach to this issue gets any support.

[jackthehat]

Having come back to this thread, I must admit to being surprised by the number of men who are happy to be viewed as potential rapists......and by the number of women who are happy to view them as such.

[mrs.chappie]

I think you're taking Kval's post too literally, Andy.

I don't think she meant you HAVE to make a choice....I think she meant that if you had NO choice and you couldn't stop the rapist....

[kvalidir]

Andy your post absolutely beggars belief- I seriously think you have completely lost the plot. How dare you insult other people's opinions simply because with your own 'twisted logic' you can't find room to open your mind for a second to the possibility that people hold opinions contrary to your own.
Clearly it's not a ' multiple choice questionaire', no-one ever suggested that it was, it is an example for people who seem to struggle with the concept that violent rape is probably more traumatic to most people simplified to it's basest form. #if you can't see that then you probably aren't the towering intellect you like to think you are.
Would I like to reconsider my post and apologise?
I'm always delighted to reconsider a post, have done so and see nothing whatsoever to apologise for.
Since you ask if I had to have my genitials mutilated by anyone then I would definitely go with option A, thanks for asking- as would anyone else- which was my whole point about posting the rape analogy.
Maybe you would like to apologise to me for the incredibly rude post you just directed at me? I won't hold my breath on that though.