Should The Mother Of A Broken Marriage Be Allowed To Live On The Other Side Of The World, Taking Her Children With Her, Thus Separating Them From Their Father And Grand Parents?

[anotheoldgit]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3077461/The-long-distance-grandparents-dared-fight-son-s-ex-decided-Australia-grandchildren-adored-Chris-Dawn-staked-life-savings-battle-stop-her.html

[andy-hughes]

Atlanta - //These grandparents would have been far better advised to use all that money on long-distance visits. //

I have to agree with that particular sentiment.

The law on this type of case is very clear - and it is clear for good reasons.

A lot of grandparents are supportive and valuable - but a lot are manipulative and troublesome - and to give them a legal say which may counteract the mother's wishes, or the best situation for the children, would be disasterous.

The piece is very emotively written - inferring that the grandparents feel that their legal and moral rights have been tramped on.

They haven't, because such rights do not exist - morally or legally.

All grandparents should make every effort to be involved in their grandchildren's lives - my wife and I are extremely close to our daughters and grandchildren, but I do not regard myself as having any rights in regard to their future location - that is the right of their parents, and that is as it should be.

[andy-hughes]

hc4361 - //I'm in this situation, twice. Two ex daughters in law have moved far away with the children and there is no contact at all. Our hearts our broken but there is nothing we can do. //

I am very sorry for your situation - but as someone with direct experience of this issue, your input about the rights and wrongs of the law would be a valuable addition to the debate.

[anotheoldgit]

Sqad

/// Yes......of course the mother should be allowed to take HER children wherever she wants.........the clue is in the detail......she is the MOTHER. ///

Oh so the FATHER has no rights?

[Sqad]

AOG.....yes of course the father has rights, but reading the article.........he seems.......well.......disinterested.

[anotheoldgit]

New Judge

/// As you have rightly said, grandchildren are even less in the possession of grandparents than children are of their parents. ///

In some cases the grandparents of today have more contact with their grand children than their parents have.

See them in the supermarkets or on the parks etc, during school holidays, to say nothing of the trips back and forward to schools during term time, and then the time spent with them until their working parents finally arrive home to put them to bed.

[ummmm]

Women are having children later and later. These women doing the school runs could be the mothers.

[hc4361]

Andy-Hughes, on a practical level I think the law is right. Most children have at least two sets of grandparents (modern society with parents and grandparents getting divorced and remarrying) and these can live far apart. It would be impossible to take everyone's opinion in to consideration and such decisions should be made by the parents only.

I would like grandparents to have right of contact unless there is very good reason. As it is many loving grandparents have no contact at all their grandchildren just because that is the way the parent(s) want it. In our case our son has two failed marriages and he has very limited contact with his children after the mothers moved away and remarried. It is very much on the whim on the mothers when and if he sees them.

[Gromit]

The mother is Brazillian, the first born is Australian.

Bit of a turnaround for you AOG. You ate usually arguing that immigration should not be allowed in. Here you are arguing they should not be allowed out.

In this instance, Syney is probably their natual home. Perhaps the son, who got them into this mess, could help subsidise trips to see their grand children.

[anotheoldgit]

ummmm

/// Sorry...I just realised it said she was a Brazilian beauty. Either way...she's not from the UK. ///

Why bring race into it?

[ummmm]

Because I said she was from Oz and she's not, she's from Brazil and it's mentioned in the article.

If she was from the UK the father would have stood a better chance at stopping her from going.

[ummmm]

And I thought Australian and Brazilian were nationalities.

[anotheoldgit]

ummmm

/// And I thought Australian and Brazilian were nationalities. ///

And when have the usual players of the race card ever bothered about that small technicality.

They will even label one racist, if one dares to criticise members of the Islamic religion.

[bednobs]

"and then the time spent with them until their working parents finally arrive home to put them to bed. "

you mean like you?

[paddywak]

My sister reckons she sees more of her grandkids now then she ever did when they were local,they're all over the place but when ever Trish and I go to visit one of them is always there on skype.It's surprising how small the world is these days

[Gromit]

Skype is virtually free.

Why have they only spoken with their grand kids 3 times in 9 months?

[andy-hughes]

AOG - //And when have the usual players of the race card ever bothered about that small technicality.

They will even label one racist, if one dares to criticise members of the Islamic religion. //

It could be argued that shoehorning a point about Islam into a debate about grandparenting access would be next to impossible - but you have managed it effortlessly - once again.

[zebo]

I do agree that they were badly advised, there was little chance of success. However, I do despise women who use their children as a bargaining chip when families break up.

[Gromit]

// I do despise women who use their children as a bargaining chip when families break up. //

The couple met, lived and produced their children in Australia. After the break up of their marriage, she returned home. The mistake was bringing his wife to the UK in the first place. The husband can return to Ausralia and would get regular access to his children. So the grandparents could get telephone access more regularly. The father should move to Australia and look after his children.

[anotheoldgit]

bednobs

/// you mean like you? ///

Touch a raw nerve did I?

Don't be so rude, my baby sitting days are long gone.

[jno]

grandparents should have no say in where their grandchildren go or what they do. That's parents' job. I should be mightily annoyed if my parent-in-law had tried to dictate where I lived.

[i]The law in this area is governed by the Children’s Act 1989, under which parents and children have a right to be heard — but, controversially, grandparents have none.[i]

That's about the least controversial thing I've ever heard.