Ummm has the best answers. I have been in a violent relationship, and after getting put worked within domestic abuse services. There is more to it than the 'I wouldn't put up with that' view, which I shared until I was there. He found me when he knew I was vulnerable, recently divorced, cheated on, with an 11 month old baby, and no family support. Not all violent men, but some, start with the psychological, you rely on them, they isolate you, they manoeuvre you, when you are vulnerable, into relying on them, because at first they treat you like a queen, or whatever your equivalent, by the time you realise how much they have cut you off from everyone and taken away any support you may have, they get violent. When with my ex and my son was 18 months old, I spent hours cleaning my own blood off the walls before my son woke. Not my proudest moment, but it was at the end of a long time of manipulation and slow isolation from anyone that could help. Please don't judge women that have been there as weak or stupid . I didn't think it could or would happen to me, thought I was strong. Hortible the gs can happen to anyone. Don't judge without listening.