The Other Side Of Domestic Violence That We Here Very Little About.

[anotheoldgit]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-35742799

Is it not time we took female upon male violence seriously?

I ask this because it is regularly shown on TV and films, where men are expected to take slaps and other aggressive violence from females with either cries of "he deserved that" or outbursts of laughter.

[Islay]

It is take seriously!

We have posters all over our offices explaining that DV had both male and female victims.
But until men come forward and report it the true numbers will never be known.
So for the time being it is women that are mainly abused!

[jackthehat]

Domestic violence is no laughing matter however it is constituted.

[Gromit]

She has been convicted of murder and will spend several years in prison. How is that not taking it seriously?

Are you alleging the police are not doing their job? Or is someone else failing?

[ummmm]

No one should feel under threat in their own home be it Man, woman or child...

[woofgang]

Can we have some examples of "regularly shown on TV and films, where men are expected to take slaps and other aggressive violence from females with either cries of "he deserved that" or outbursts of laughter.” please?

[Mamyalynne]

Domestic violence does indeed work both ways and for years has been recognised and taken seriously.

One of the problems was getting men to report what was happening, hopefully more now are doing that.

Even the term 'Battered husband syndrome' was coined as long ago as 1977.

[sp1814]

AOG

It is taken seriously.

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/help-for-abused-men.htm

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/abuse/Pages/domestic-violence-against-men.aspx

You seem to be making an invalid assumption about how domestic violence based on tv drama and comedy.

Real life is different.

Which films and to shows are you referring to?

[anotheoldgit]

woofgang

/// Can we have some examples of "regularly shown on TV and films, where men are expected to take slaps and other aggressive violence from females ///

Never watch films and TV then woofgang?

[sp1814]

Something that is true is that whenever domestic abuse is depicted in telly (dramas and soaps), it is always male-on-female attacks. However, a recent study found that two out of every five attacks are female-on-male.

I still challenge the idea that it is not taken seriously.

AOG...apart from the way telly handles this (and I suggest that isn't how the issue should be tackled), in what way do the courts, police, NHS and social services not take the issue seriously?

[anotheoldgit]

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/northumbria-police-accused-sexism-domestic-10663534

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/10752232/Our-attitude-to-violence-against-men-is-out-of-date.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3310235/Would-intervene-saw-woman-slap-boyfriend-Shocking-video-shows-strangers-ignoring-domestic-violence-street-rush-help-female-victim.html

[Islay]

What do your links prove anotheroldgit?

[Mamyalynne]

Should there be more publicity and poster campaigns regarding Domestic Violence to Men ?

Yes I think there probably should.

[agchristie]

Multi-agency meetings called MARAC's occur very regularly. These meetings are chaired by the police and a range of agencies, including Harbour, attend to discuss all referrals and put in place an action plan. There are many instances up for debate where the female is the perpetrator.

A lot of work goes on behind the scenes which is confidential. There are many programmes for males offered. How do I know this? I've been in attendence at such meetings.

[Mamyalynne]

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/man-campaigning-posters-raising-awareness-10991738

[RATTER15]

I was a victim of domestic violence. I was stabbed with a knife and a carving fork. Fortunately neither serious, she also drew blood on many occasions before I finally walked out.

I was vulnerable because I would not fight back or restrain her for fear of hurting her. I am not a small guy and well capable of looking after myself, however I was brought up not to hit or harm women and I still stand by that. I stress this was by an Ex wife, not the very lovely Carakeel.

[RATTER15]

No I didn't report it to anybody and yes I was embarrassed at the time.

Now I am confident to talk about it after realising that it is in fact quite common.

[youngmafbog]

And that Ratter is perhaps the real problem. I dont think I could report it either, but whilst we men dont then the official figures will be skewed and it will appear to be male on female abuse.

Just out of interest, I'm guessing it must happen, are there any DV figures on same sex relationships?

[New Judge]

Some studies put the percentage of males as victims of DV as high as 40%. However, these usually include victims in gay relationships so it is not a measure of “Female on Male” violence. A useful measure is that four times as many women as men are killed as a result of DV incidents (though once again these probably include lesbian relationship victims). The most reliable report I have read puts male victims of DV in straight relationships at about 17%.

The biggest problem with DV overall is one of reporting - or rather lack of it and this makes any figures unreliable. Again figures vary depending upon which report you read but one I’ve read suggests that before a DV victim goes to the police she or he has been the victim of more than 30 assaults. I’ve had dealings with a number of DV victims (mainly women) and that figure does not surprise me. The victims always invariably assume (or more likely hope) that he will “get better”. In my experience all their attackers get better at is their aim and my advice to any victim of DV is to remove themselves immediately and permanently from the situation they are in. DV perpetrators do not change other than for the worse and allowing their assaults to go unaddressed simply emboldens them.

I imagine male victims of DV are even less likely to report incidence than female victims are. However I do not believe the police or the courts treat such incidents any differently. Indeed the guidance to both institutions is the same: DV is DV is DV.

[woofgang]

AOG. I do watch Tv and haven’t seen this regularly shown which is why I asked the question....if you can’t give examples maybe its because you haven’t seen it either?

[sp1814]

NJ

You wrote:

[i]Some studies put the percentage of males as victims of DV as high as 40%. However, these usually include victims in gay relationships so it is not a measure of “Female on Male” violence.[i]

Statistically, improbable.