What Is Undignified About Being With People Older Than Yourself?

[bednobs]

i saw this story today about a young MS sufferer who had to suffer the "indignity" of residing in a care home where "most" residents were over the age of 65 http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-42043882
I was quite surprised that her family were so dispararging in their condemnation of the home (which after all was a mixed age home). the problem with making care homes solely for younger people is that younger people tend not to need care homes, meaning they would have to be further away from their families and support networks. Is there a better way of us looking after our young disabled people?

[woofgang]

I am guessing that they are not just old but also have alzheimers?

[emmie]

if they have dementia then that be quite problematic.

[ToraToraTora]

dunno seems odd, I have a few mates a lot older than me not a problem.

[woofgang]

TTT have you ever been into a res care and met the people who live there?

[dannyk13]

If she was the only young person in a home with over 65 year olds then I don't think it would do much for her quality of life.

[bednobs]

well so what if they have dementia - in the article the sister says she herself did had poor cognitive ability.

[pixie374]

The problem is that all the residential homes for people with disabilities, which would have been far more appropriate for her, are absolutely chock- full. It needs more investment all round.

[pixie374]

It says some have dementia, woof. Some are just "old".

[jno]

maybe "dignifed" isn't the right word, but seeing a woman in young middle age placed among elderly dementia sufferers must be unsettling. They may have felt she somehow "caught" dementia from them.

That doesn't answer your question about whether there was any better way she could have been treated, though.

[pixie374]

I wonder if this home is registered "disabled". Ours was "elderly" and we only accepted people of 65 or over. The link doesn't make it clear. We have homes for under 18s with disabilities, but I'm not sure about young adults.

[dannyk13]

I think discomfort would have been a better word to use rather than indignity.

[Old_Geezer]

I'd agree it was a less than ideal choice of word chosen in the moment. Most find more in common with their own age group. Not unreasonable to feel there should be a degree of age matching, if possible.

[cassa333]

Agree with OG.

Regardless of disability people should, wherever possible, be with thier pier group. Or at the least a good mix of ages.

I would think it unfare if one of my own were put in an inappropriate age group.

Although mostly 18 to 35 yr olds there were a couple of much older people in my nephews rehab unit.

[bednobs]

i wonder how those older people felt about being with people much younger than them?

[jno]

quite possibly the same, bednobs? Though again it might depend if they were all there with the same ailments. It should be okay if the age groups were genuinely mixed, but if there are only one or two among many, they might feel a bit isolated.

[anotheoldgit]

I wonder if she ever thinks that there was a time in her life when she was the one with limited abilities, but her older parents had to live with her, even change her nappy, feed her, bath her, take her to the toilet etc, etc.

[woofgang]

AOG, she is still the one with the limited abilities, hence the need for residential care. having worked with both younger people with severe disabilities and with older people, both have my sympathy and I absolutely understand why this young person is so upset. I would also understand if it was one older person made to live in a res care which was otherwise full of younger disabled people....I am going to say the next bit but I am aware it could offend some people who work in the care sector. Its not uncommon (one might even say usual) for people who work with older people who need residential care and a lot of support to adopt a ?persona...?attitude....?vocabulary which a younger person, or an older person who is not so dependent (ie less demented) could find at very least irritating and at worst, yes undignified. Many people will not feel able to comment or ask people who give them intimate care on a daily basis to change their behaviour.
I don't say this to criticise carers...I have seen it in nurses in hospital as well as in care homes. It shouldn't happen and yes being upset by it is not limited to younger disabled people.....