Film, Media & TV2 mins ago
Russian Immigrants Now?
22 Answers
Come ashore and our Cornish farmers/miners will see you off.
Can't we hold them hostage?
What would you do with them?
https:/
Can't we hold them hostage?
What would you do with them?
https:/
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// I've just been watching this on the news. Someone was probably asleep.//
jesus there must be something wrong in the world if an Aber says ( truly ! [deeply. madly]) - " I can drive a ship better than those Rooshans!"
hey what if the cargo hunters board the ship and the Rooshans say
Vel-come ! all door handles smeared with Novichoki !
Goot luck tovarich !
( which is Rooshan for Comrade and designed to give this story some colour)
yeah and we think ( it is dark see?) that the Rooshans are in fact moroccan immigrants and so we tow them back to France ( free gilets jaunes) - but DON'T ram cocktail stick under their fingernails not because it is cruel or because Putin may be possed but because in the Chrissy season, they have run out of cocktail sticks.....
Prosht babies!
jesus there must be something wrong in the world if an Aber says ( truly ! [deeply. madly]) - " I can drive a ship better than those Rooshans!"
hey what if the cargo hunters board the ship and the Rooshans say
Vel-come ! all door handles smeared with Novichoki !
Goot luck tovarich !
( which is Rooshan for Comrade and designed to give this story some colour)
yeah and we think ( it is dark see?) that the Rooshans are in fact moroccan immigrants and so we tow them back to France ( free gilets jaunes) - but DON'T ram cocktail stick under their fingernails not because it is cruel or because Putin may be possed but because in the Chrissy season, they have run out of cocktail sticks.....
Prosht babies!
oh Great people entering into the crissy spirit ( hur hur hur) on this
can I remind you
IN 1708 in the Great Storm ( Girt Starm locally) Sir Cloudesley Shovell lost the fleet ( memo to self - oops!).
And HE was washed up on the foreshore a bit damp and well used, limp even
and the old woman who found him
espied the equally girt emerald on one digit - clinting in the weak winter sun as the final rays died out ....
so drowned the admiral ( he wasnt much good anyway - certainly not after drowning )
and filched the girt big emerald
and couldnt sell it ( old woman wiv girt emerald = thief, geddit?) and so she kept it and confessed on her own death bed to her evil criminal acts later in that century 0 giving rise to the story
( Shovell family do NOT record a lost girt emerald or anyone in the family in 1700s ) - oh well good story huh?
[thousands of ABers murmur - Cloudsley Shovell - who he den when he's at home? ]
can I remind you
IN 1708 in the Great Storm ( Girt Starm locally) Sir Cloudesley Shovell lost the fleet ( memo to self - oops!).
And HE was washed up on the foreshore a bit damp and well used, limp even
and the old woman who found him
espied the equally girt emerald on one digit - clinting in the weak winter sun as the final rays died out ....
so drowned the admiral ( he wasnt much good anyway - certainly not after drowning )
and filched the girt big emerald
and couldnt sell it ( old woman wiv girt emerald = thief, geddit?) and so she kept it and confessed on her own death bed to her evil criminal acts later in that century 0 giving rise to the story
( Shovell family do NOT record a lost girt emerald or anyone in the family in 1700s ) - oh well good story huh?
[thousands of ABers murmur - Cloudsley Shovell - who he den when he's at home? ]
A Russian, a Cuban, a Cornish pilot and a marine lawyer are on the Kuzma Minin in Falmouth, stranded near the beach.
The Russian takes a bottle of the best vodka out of his pack; pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In Russia, we have the best vodka in the world, nowhere in the world you can find vodka as good as what we produce and far better than that der'mo in Ukraine. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away...".
Saying that, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle out the porthole and into the Carrick Straits.
All the others are quite impressed.
The Cuban opens a box of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas. Nowhere in the world are there better cigars, and we have so many of them, that we can just throw them away...". Saying that, he throws the box of Havanas out of the porthole.
One more time, everybody is quite impressed.
The Cornish pilot, having been helicoptered in to guide the boat off the beach when the tide came in, just stood up, opened the porthole wide, and threw the marine lawyer out...
The Russian takes a bottle of the best vodka out of his pack; pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In Russia, we have the best vodka in the world, nowhere in the world you can find vodka as good as what we produce and far better than that der'mo in Ukraine. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away...".
Saying that, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle out the porthole and into the Carrick Straits.
All the others are quite impressed.
The Cuban opens a box of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas. Nowhere in the world are there better cigars, and we have so many of them, that we can just throw them away...". Saying that, he throws the box of Havanas out of the porthole.
One more time, everybody is quite impressed.
The Cornish pilot, having been helicoptered in to guide the boat off the beach when the tide came in, just stood up, opened the porthole wide, and threw the marine lawyer out...
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